It was midday, and we were in the training room once again. Obi-Wan had gone to ready the shuttle for our return to Takra, but Qui-Gon was in no hurry to leave and so suggested we make use of the space one more time to test out whether it was possible for me to do physical feats under the power of the Force. It involved a lot of calming and centering first, meditation and then waiting until I quieted my mind before we could try anything. Calling the Force to me was not a problem, I discovered; rather, releasing it seemed to be the obstacle between me and fancy acrobatics. At first, Qui-Gon was amused by my request to learn to do these things, but now that we had begun, he took it very seriously and guided me as he would his Padawan. I kept getting frustrated and had to re-center myself all over again. "I know the power is there," I griped, "I can feel it. It's right at my fingertips. I guess I just keep psyching myself out."

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at that. "Meaning?"

I grinned. "It's a perception problem. Some tiny part of my brain is still telling me that this is not right, or more that it's silly and I shouldn't be trying to act like a movie-Jedi."

The Master tried not to laugh at that. "Your movie-Jedi sound like they do exactly what real Jedi do, more or less."

"I haven't seen either you or Obi-Wan leap thirty feet straight up for real."

"We haven't had a need to, around you. Yet." Qui-Gon paced around me, his face thoughtful. "It is significant that you don't fear failure, but merely think it's improper for you to do it. Such a mental block is more easily overcome." He stopped, facing me, and folded his arms. "Place your focus on yourself, not on your destination or the feat itself. For this leap, don't focus the Force on the rail you're going to catch, focus it on yourself, at your feet. It will do the rest."

"All right," I said warily, closing my eyes to try it again. I wasn't afraid at all, because I knew if I did manage to get up in the air but missed the rafter, Qui-Gon was there to catch me or somehow break my fall. I just kept having flashes of Luke leaping out of the carbonite chamber, and that made me giggle and break my concentration. I tried doing as the Master suggested, and gathered the Force to myself, letting it pool around me before subconsciously informing it that I wanted it to help me jump. I gathered and sprang without thinking too hard about it, and the next thing I knew I felt the thud of my hands hitting something and the grainy texture of wood beneath my fingers. I opened my eyes in time to see myself hanging neatly from the ceiling ten feet above Qui-Gon. "Woohoo!" I hooted.

"See? It's not so difficult," he chuckled.

"You didn't help me with that, did you?" I asked suspiciously, taking a moment just to hang there. My arms were already getting tired, but this was a moment to savor!

"Not at all," Qui-Gon replied. "You have some mental blocks concerning the need to do such feats, but I think it is clear that you have the ability."

"Catch me?" I waited for him to step immediately beneath me, and trustingly let go. His hands seized my waist and lowered me gently to the floor. Breathless with excitement, I wondered, "How come we didn't try this before? We've had months to figure out what I can and can't do!"

"To be honest, I didn't think it was necessary." Qui-Gon's hands slid reluctantly from my waist. "You will never be able to be trained as a Jedi, so I had to limit what you knew of our use of the Force. The fighting forms are for exercise and meditation is valuable in a great many ways, but actual feats of mind and body would be unnecessary for you to know if you cannot be a Jedi." He frowned, then, more at himself than anything else. "Perhaps I was wrong. Though, I still tend to think being able to perform leaps and such will be nothing more than a novelty for you."

"So?" I teased, putting my hands on my hips. "I have the ability, it seems."

"Just because one can do something doesn't mean one should," he countered wisely. "I will think about it. If I consent, perhaps Obi-Wan will teach you a few things. He enjoys that sort of thing."

I flirtatiously took a step closer to him and leaned in. "What, and you don't?"

He leaned down as if to meet me, and spoke in a hushed yet sly manner. "Have you ever seen me do any flips?"

"Hmm, point taken." My hands went naturally to him, to his chest, then around his waist, just above his belt. His found their way easily back around me. "I think I asked you a long time ago about the Force-assisted run..."

"That is a little more difficult," Qui-Gon mused, pulling me closer to him. "It requires concentration, and complete grasp of the Force. Without that, not only can you not begin the run, you cannot control it. Stopping is harder than starting."

"You know, I've always wondered about that..." But that caused a flash of vision, of Obi-Wan racing toward a rapidly-closing laser barrier, so I shook my head and decided on a different subject altogether. "So, what now? We're going back to Takra..."

"I don't foresee much traveling for the rest of the mission. We've only a little more than two weeks left of it as it is, and with this confusion over what's going on behind our backs..." Qui-Gon sighed heavily and began to caress my back as if it would comfort him. "I've been placed in a very difficult situation. Xanatos was right about one thing - any other Jedi might not have looked past his company's name in that document. It is the misfortune of the Daramindi that of all people to whom they first mentioned Offworld, they chose me."

The subject of Xanatos made me uncomfortable, but the Master brought up something by it that I needed an answer to. Several somethings, in fact. "But when he told you all this, you kept antagonizing him, blaming him for this trouble."

"I had to," Qui-Gon began to explain, his voice gentle and his eyes kind as he looked down at my questioning face. "It was the only way to be sure he was telling me the truth, uncut and uncolored. I know Xanatos too well. I know that by keeping him angry and defensive, I could be assured what he told me was true to the best of his knowledge. I don't actually think he had anything to do with this supposed plot."

That eased my mind enough to let a smile through. "So you really have cleared his name from this."

"Yes. Whether that's good or bad, I don't know." The Master stroked my hair, gazing into my eyes for a moment. I could see him working up to telling me something. "You're not still thinking about his parting shot, are you?"

"Um...I'm trying not to." His penetrating gaze made me look away. In a near whisper I queried, "Is that part true? Are Jedi not allowed to love? We've...never talked about that before."

"Xanatos is bitter and jealous, and simplified the matter into a ridiculous statement," Qui-Gon answered firmly. "First, you must know what it means to love someone. We've spoken of selflessness, and giving. Compassion is also important - vital - to a Jedi. What we are not allowed to do is be selfish, possessive, and jealous." He tipped my face upward with one fingertip, and smiled to put me at ease. "There are times when love forces people to do foolish things, and when emotions that are neither good nor evil in themselves can lead down the wrong path. I have seen love lead to great evil, through vanity and self-seeking. But I know love can also be good, and with balance, makes us stronger, better people for it. These emotions are very powerful, and require careful balance for Jedi to handle. Because of our closeness with the Force, indulging in the wrong set of emotions taps into horrible power that should not be unleashed. It is not the same as when your average galactic citizen has a relationship go sour."

I stood there in his arms for a moment of silence, letting his words sink in and wrap themselves around my heart. "I can see there's more to be said on the subject," I murmured at last.

"We can save that for another time." Qui-Gon lowered his head and kissed me softly. It was quick and subtle, and completely unexpected. My heart came to a screeching halt and I nearly fainted in his arms, but he seemed to take no notice. "Obi-Wan will be back any moment now, and then we can get ready to leave. Takra awaits."

*****

I hung back at the bottom of the steps at the entrance of the house, waiting for a sign that all was well. Despite only being away for about a week and a half, the dynamic of the mission had changed so much in that time that I honestly feared something had happened to the house in Takra while we were gone. Qui-Gon seemed to have something of the same concern, for he strode up ahead of me and Obi-Wan and paused us with only an upheld hand while he checked the lock on the door. It was secure, and when the door whirred open CQ was there waiting, already inspecting us and beeping as one by one he identified us. "CQ," Master Qui-Gon addressed the droid, "I want a status report on the house's security and any alerts you may have had since our departure."

CQ affirmed the order and whirled off down the hall towards the office. I let Qui-Gon follow the droid before stepping in behind him and heading upstairs to dump off my baggage. Obi-Wan came right behind me, heading for his room to change out of the warm clothing he needed in Skoda and back into a regular undertunic. The climate change was like a plunge into a warm bath, I welcomed it by pushing open the windows to let the perfumed breeze into my room. In the process I glanced around the edges of my view, from one side of the green square behind the building to the other, looking for suspicious figures. All my senses were unnecessarily alert, but I preferred the edginess to ignorance, now that I possessed valuable information. Reminding myself of it, I dug my notepad out of the bag and pulled the loose sheets of the report out of the back just as Obi-Wan stepped in the doorway. I gave him a silent look of intent as I went to the closet, pulled out the picture that he had given me, and checked the relative size. The painting was just large enough that the papers fit inside the back of the canvas. I replaced the picture and smiled at Obi-Wan. "Just in case you need to know where that is."

We passed a quiet evening at the house, confident that a clear security report and keeping our return to Takra secret meant that we had no trouble to worry about at the moment, but plans were in the works for a major investigation. My two companions intended to spend a few days making contact with everyone who could possibly have anything to say about the Mining Guild of Skoda or any of the other problems facing us, which included meeting the Executor, the Common Council, and anyone else in Takra they could track down. I was assured that one of the first things Qui-Gon had done two days before, upon hearing of it from Xanatos, was contact minister Badela in Ba'nom and relay that their cover was blown. Of course, no one could confront Badela or the Be'a'lai Councilor Da'anna about passing on sensitive information without admitting that they knew about it via illegal means, but the precaution was worth it. Now that we were back in Takra, it sounded like Qui-Gon wanted to take Da'anna into his confidence in order to gauge loyalty and dissention among the government agencies. I was to remain behind and field messages, and add to the coded report when the Jedi returned home at the end of the day. For two days, that was exactly what I did.

I wandered back and forth between the sitting room and the office, taking a call or two whenever a Jedi was not around to take it themselves. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan split up again, and though they both had a lot of work to do in the capital, rarely did both of them leave the house at the same time. I felt perfectly safe even when they did, for CQ kept up constant patrols and no visitors were admitted. From morning to sundown for two straight days I waited, and assisted, and then sat down to take notes on the findings and encounters that I had missed. The first day ended with little to show, but by the second, it seemed the leadership and the Common Council were getting freaked out. The Jedi knew exactly who they needed to talk to and exactly what they needed to know, and anticipating their moves was impossible. I fielded a flurry of nervously-polite comm transmissions from settlements and colonies, promising each that whichever Jedi contacted them would return their message shortly and taking down notes from a handful in far-off regions. Some only had an answer to a question posed them earlier, and I assured them Qui-Gon would be very grateful for their cooperation. The things I wrote down were astonishing - records mishandled, promises broken, denials that someone else's story was true. Most of it fit peculiarly into any hole in past Jedi teams' reports where blame was laid on the overseers rather than the residents of Daramin over some squabble or difficulty. Whenever either Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan took a call I disappeared, preferring to have their trimmed-down report later with only the information they needed saved to overhearing too much. I had a bad habit of getting more than I bargained for whenever I eavesdropped around Jedi.

Late that second evening, the report finished and a mug of hot tea nearing emptiness, my chance to relax from the whirlwind investigation finally came. There were exactly two weeks - ten days - left of this mission, perhaps less if the next team arrived on Daramin early. Not a single threat had been made to our safety, and most in Takra were actually scurrying to get out of the Jedi's way. Many calls were still out, and Councilors reluctant to receive visits, so Qui-Gon explained to me that he expected perhaps another day or two of the harried work before he had enough information and evidence to begin confronting the Executor on exactly what he was up to. I had to admit, finally, that the Master was right - what evidence we possessed alluded to a growing anti-Jedi sentiment that manifested in plots to get them to give up watching Daramin so closely. The trouble was, even after generations of working closely with them, the Daramindi still underestimated the tenacity, intelligence, and devotion to duty of the Jedi. If they could fool or exploit one team, the next would prove difficult or downright impossible to subvert. Obi-Wan concluded that the entire Mining Guild of Skoda was guilty of the plot to get the Jedi investigating Offworld for no reason, but of them, very few knew that deep down, the wild goose chase wasn't going to work and instead they would use Xanatos to discredit the Jedi. Both he and Qui-Gon figured that as yet, no one on Daramin realized just how much the Jedi knew, but it would not take long for them to start adding things up. I drained the last of my tea and sighed tiredly. "All right, all right. I've had enough of this plotting and scheming for one night. Can we talk about something else?"

Qui-Gon glanced behind him to a chronometer sitting on the desk. "It's late. We all ought to get some sleep." His eyes returned to me, and he smiled. "You especially. You look exhausted."

"Nah. Just frustrated. I haven't had this much paperwork to do since I graduated from college." Pushing myself off the couch, I wandered down the hall to the kitchen to put away my mug and came back just as the lights were being doused and shades drawn. I was last up the stairs to our rooms, and let out a big yawn as I paused in the doorway to mine. Qui-Gon stood nearly across from me, having tossed his robe on his bed - I could just see it through the door. "Night," I wished him, and then glanced down the hall to Obi-Wan. "Both of you."

Qui-Gon left his room and stepped over to me, following even as I turned and went into my room, a delicate smile on his lips. "Are you handling this task all right?" he wondered.

"Yeah, fine," I tried to assure him as I hunted some sleep clothes out of my bag. "It's just a lot more work than I'm used to - brain work. I mean, I'm not an idiot, but..." I sighed at the amused look on the Master's face. "I'm babbling. I'm tired."

He chuckled softly. "It's all right. You know how much I appreciate your willingness to help us on this matter. I don't mean to be a burden to you."

"No burden," I said sunnily, suppressing another yawn. "I'm sure it'll all be worth it in the end." I looked down at the folded clothes I had laid on the bed and then back up at Qui-Gon. "Are you waiting for something?"

The Master started, and then chuckled again. "I just wanted to wish you good night in my own way. I'm sorry. Am I in your way?"

Embarrassed, I focused on the floor instead of his eyes, for they were warm and intent. "Give me two seconds to change and you can tuck me in."

I caught a glimpse of Qui-Gon's knowing smile before he turned his back to me and folded his arms securely. Though my heart thudded in my chest like drums and my hands were shaking a little in excitement, I managed to duck around the other side of the bed and hastily change into the light sleeveless shirt and linen pants I liked to sleep in. Qui-Gon waited until he heard me settle onto the bed and push aside the blankets before turning back around. "Better?"

"Much," I purred. "It's definitely bedtime. My eyes are closing already."

He sat down with me on the bed and slid a hand onto my bare shoulder, wasting no words as he leaned in to kiss me, first on the lips with all the pressure of a flower's petals, then on my forehead. The warmth of his closeness combated the coolness of the night breeze filtering in through the shades. "Sleep well," he murmured, his breath whispering over my cheek.

"You too." My hand found its way of its own accord to Qui-Gon's knee, and then along his thigh, while he eased me closer and nuzzled my ear. When I felt his breath catch, I opened my eyes and realized that my touch had wandered beneath his tunic's hem and a little too close for comfort. Withdrawing it, I felt my face burning beneath the pressure of his strong fingers and offered, "Sorry."

"It's all right." The hand on my shoulder dropped around me; Qui-Gon held me for a short time, and I him, content simply to be together. I could feel the raw, restrained power where my hand rested on his arm, though his presence in the Force was as calm as dawn and he held still, eyes half-closed dreamily. This time I felt able to move, and wanted to, so I lifted my face to his and gingerly kissed him, letting him respond as he willed - and he did, tasting sweet and warm. Our kisses were a slow dance, each one a question and an answer in kind, an assurance and a thrill all at once. Too quickly it was over, and I reached up to brush a hand along the line of his beard as he leaned away. Qui-Gon caught my hands up in his and held them for a moment as he got to his feet. "May the Force guide your dreams," he whispered, backing away.

I didn't know the proper response, so I just smiled indulgently and tucked my feet under the blankets. The Master flicked off the light as he exited, but did not close the door. It had been agreed upon that until we could conclusively dismiss any threats of violence against us, we would leave our doors open while sleeping so CQ could patrol the upstairs. I thought the droid's noise would wake me, but two nights of sound sleep sufficiently allayed my concerns. Letting CQ wander by or peer in to make sure I was safe was better than having him open my door and wake me up every ten minutes. As I lay in the darkness on the verge of sleep, I heard the slow tread of Qui-Gon's boots crossing the hall, and then the snap of a switch. A very dim light filtered to me from across the hall, but since our doorways did not directly intersect, it wasn't going to be enough to stop me from falling asleep. I rolled over and flung an arm over my pillow, content to do just that, when I heard more footsteps in the hall. They were light, as if made by bare feet, and stopped at Qui-Gon's door; a shadow blocked some of the light. Then Obi-Wan spoke, his voice hushed but clear, low, hurt. "How can you be so brazen?"

My eyes shot open, wide awake. There was a long silence broken only by the swish of clothing in the other room, until Qui-Gon responded in the same hush. "I'm not sure what you mean, Obi-Wan."

"You're normally much more careful about...indulging, when I'm around...Master."

Another long pause. "Something is bothering you." The sound of slowly pacing boots again. "Come in and let's talk about it."

I lay there, stunned, wondering what in the world was going on. I couldn't tell by sound whether Obi-Wan had taken the invitation, but when their voices started up again in a moment, I knew they had not sequestered themselves in Qui-Gon's room privately. Both our doors were still open. "It isn't fair," Obi-Wan said petulantly. "I don't understand how you can so calmly go with her, be with her, and yet act as if there are no consequences to your actions."

"What do you expect me to do?" Qui-Gon responded. "I care for her, very much. Am I supposed to pretend that I don't, and live a lie?"

"No, Master," his Padawan moaned softly. "It's not...your feelings, it's what you do with them."

"Such expressions are natural, Obi-Wan." No argument came from that, so after a moment Qui-Gon continued, trying to quiet his voice even more. "You must speak to me. Tell me why it upsets you that you know I am physical with Stacey."

Hearing that tore me in two - I was sent into euphoria at the phrase, knowing what it meant, but my heart still ached that Obi-Wan was in pain. I could hear it in his voice. "I am upset because I am...confused. I know she cares for me the same way, but she hasn't shared with me what it seems she's so willing to share with you. But even so..."

I clenched my jaw tightly, hearing that. Oh no, Obi-Wan! Does this mean it was you who I sensed? I didn't mean to hurt you! Oh, why haven't I shown him how I feel about him?

He was still speaking. "...something about this doesn't feel right. I don't understand why you can brush aside the conflict. I struggle with it daily."

"You have lost your balance," Qui-Gon bluntly observed. "I am not brushing anything aside, for me there is no conflict. I've learned to balance the power of my emotions with the demands made by the Order. You take them too literally."

"And sometimes you don't take them at all."

"Hush, Obi-Wan!" his Master implored in a low growl. "Stacey is asleep, I don't want to disturb her."

Too late, I thought.

"I'm sorry, Master," Obi-Wan said, his voice appropriately hushed. "But it's true."

"Obi-Wan..." Qui-Gon sighed long. "Do you remember what I said, when we first met her, about how difficult it is for a Jedi to enter into this sort of relationship?"

"You said you would neither encourage nor discourage me. But that was before we knew how she felt about us."

"Yes, that's true," the Master murmured. "I said it was difficult because very few Jedi can find balance. The emotions we both have are powerful, and it takes constant exercise to maintain peace when all you feel is chaos. I understand how you feel," he added, softly, kindly, "and I have been waiting for you to come to me so I can offer you my help. I want you to find balance. When you do, the things you long for will open up to you."

"But I don't understand it," Obi-Wan lamented. "We had an agreement, we would let things progress as they will and wait on her to make a decision. But that was months ago - and she is no closer to making a decision now than she was then. What I sense in her...she still feels the same for both of us, and one no more or less than the other. Yet she has no problem being physical with you, while I..." His voice faltered.

Qui-Gon waited in silence for a while before speaking up. "I assume she has not actually told you about our time together, you are only making guesses."

"I know you have kissed her," the Padawan whispered, the sound raw with emotion. "I have not."

The Master's voice was dreadful in return. "You are jealous."

A painful whisper shot through the night. "I'm sorry, Master."

"This cannot continue. You must find the source and remove it from you, before it leads you down a Dark path." I was still staring at the wall opposite me, where the light from across the hall fell. Another shadow moved to block it, and I heard a rustle as of clothing, and the soft pat of a hand on bare skin. "Obi-Wan, listen to me," Qui-Gon insisted, hushed to a thready whisper now. "We will work this out. We must. I will give up everything I feel right now if that must be done but I will not see you destroyed by jealousy. Talk to me."

After a moment, he did, his voice trembling. "I don't want to be jealous of you, Master. You have as much a right as anyone to happiness, to feel her care about you too. But I care for her so much that I can't let go of her, and leave her to you."

"Stacey is not a possession to be handed back and forth," Qui-Gon said sadly. "She cares for you, Obi-Wan. I can always sense it, even when she is with me." He paused, and I winced at the note I heard when he went on. "I am quite surprised to find out that you have not been as close, physically."

"Perhaps I haven't tried very hard," Obi-Wan morosely sighed. "But I am confused. Everything I've seen between you two has seemed natural, comfortable - yet everything I remember of when I'm with her has been tinged with awkwardness. And I don't know if it's mine, or hers."

Qui-Gon heaved a soft sigh. "Nothing is as it seems, Padawan mine. It took her a very long time to work up the courage to let me get close to her. Sometimes we, too, are awkward. You must be patient, she is as inexperienced as you are."

The conversation almost ended there, as for a long time neither continued and I almost fell asleep waiting, despite the raging conflict my thoughts were now exploring. Then Obi-Wan whispered once more. "I have been waiting for her to make up her mind which one of us she wants, but she has not. Even though from my perspective it seems like she spends more time with you, and is closer to you."

"Yet from my perspective, it seems like she cares more for you, deeply, Obi-Wan...and is more at ease with you," his Master countered. "I was worried for a time, but I have put it aside. This is not where our focus should be right now."

"Now I understand why the Code demands we avoid distractions," the Padawan muttered.

"Yet I know of nowhere that love is specifically named as a distraction," Qui-Gon wisely added.

"Master...what should we do?"

There was no answer for a moment. Then Qui-Gon murmured, "I don't know what it is you think needs to be done. Much of your conflict rests on her, and we cannot push her."

"I know."

"Don't expect her to make a choice between us. Not now, not anytime soon. Let her be herself. There may come a time when she cannot run from this anymore, and we will all sit down together and deal with it when that time arises." Qui-Gon paused to correct his slowly rising volume. "For now, you should be concerned about shedding your jealous feelings, and the improper expectations that led to their creation."

"Help me to find balance, Master," Obi-Wan whispered desperately. "I want to understand these emotions the way you do."

"I will," Qui-Gon assured. "If you wish to stay and talk about this, we should go downstairs where we will not wake Stacey up. Otherwise, we could meditate together on this."

"Yes...meditation seems the best route for now," his apprentice agreed. "We can talk about it again when we're off Daramin and out of harm's way."

"A wise decision. Come, we'll do it here, and now."

Both shadows moved out of the doorway, letting more light splash off the far wall. I closed my eyes and sucked in a shaky breath, trying to hold my composure though my heart cried in anguish. Obi-Wan wasn't the one needing balance, I was. I had completely failed them both, no matter what my feelings were. But how was I supposed to know? For Jedi, they weren't as good as I thought they would be at communicating how they felt. And what could I do, now that I knew of this conflict? I couldn't just cut Obi-Wan loose, I felt too strongly about him. And Qui-Gon and I were too close to back out now. Just pretend you didn't hear this, I told myself, and go on just like before, looking for chances to be with both of them. If you act any differently all of a sudden they're going to know, and remember what happened the last time they found out you eavesdropped on one of their conversations about the relationship! I remembered Chad all too well. I wanted to avoid that pain at all costs. Taking a deep breath, I swallowed down the tears and anguish and rolled onto my other side, wishing for sleep to come quickly. Don't let them know. Don't distract them now, they've got a job to do. Stay out of their way!

Come morning, it seemed to me that the meditation had done the trick, for both Jedi were centered and pleasant, looking forward only to the work they had to do and not being very frivolous about anything. Not a trace of lingering hurt, resentment, or fear could be felt from either of them. After a leisurely breakfast, it was easy for me to forget the seriousness I had overheard, but I could only wish that meditating had taken care of the problem. Obi-Wan departed first to make his rounds, but just when I thought I was about to be left to myself again, Qui-Gon followed me into the sitting room. "And where are you going?" I asked him, a little puzzled as to why he wasn't going there right now.

"I have a meeting with Da'anna in the Common Council shortly," the Master replied. "But first, we must talk."

"Uh oh." I smiled grimly at him. "Famous last words."

He accepted that with good humor, though it drained from his face as he stood before me and clasped his hands. "I know you were awake last night when Obi-Wan came to talk with me. I could sense your mind still alert."

Damn. "Well, I did notice you didn't exactly close your door or stay very quiet. Did you honestly expect that talking right outside my bedroom wasn't going to keep me awake?" I was in no mood to be blamed for this, I had enough guilt of my own to deal with.

"I wanted you to hear it," Qui-Gon curtly informed me. "I didn't know what Obi-Wan was going to say, but I had a feeling it was something he ought to have communicated to you instead of me."

I shook my head. "Yeah, but it wasn't! Not entirely. It had to do with you as well - and darn well he did talk to you," I snapped, "because he needs your guidance more than anything else. I can't do a thing about his balance."

"But you heard what he said. You know that at the heart his issue is with you." Qui-Gon gave me a disapproving frown. "I know how you feel about him, but it seems strange to me that you have not made him aware of it."

I returned his frown with a boggled look. "Are you trying to tell me to...do something with Obi-Wan? Honestly?"

The Master blinked slowly, as if mustering his patience. "I will do what I can to guide him, but he could also benefit from a little assurance from you."

"What do you want me to do?" I cried with a nervous laugh. "Keep track of how much time I spend with either of you and make sure that I do everything equally? 'Oh, gee, I've spent...four hours with Qui-Gon and kissed him twice, but I've only spent two hours with Obi-Wan and haven't kissed him at all. I better get in another couple hours and a smooch with Obi-Wan to make it up!'"

My sarcasm was not lost on him, and he snorted a bit in amusement. "No, I suppose that wouldn't be right. But is there nothing you can do to ease his mind?"

"It's not like I'm not trying, Master. Qui-Gon," I quickly corrected myself. "I am. But I can only really act in the moment, I can't plan these things. When I'm alone with you," I went on, calming myself a little so I didn't sound so angry, "things just...happen. And when I'm with Obi-Wan things also just happen. I can't force something if it's not already there. That wouldn't be fair to you or to me." I sighed softly. "You know that sometimes, no matter who I'm with, I'm afraid to go any further, but sometimes I do wish I could go further - it's not dependent on me alone. Being involved with someone takes both of us. I can only deal with what's happening right then and there - in the moment, like you always teach. I can't do any more or less."

Qui-Gon stood silent for a moment, his eyes thoughtfully roaming the floor, his thumbs lightly tapping against each other. "That's true," he admitted after a bit. His gaze lifted and found mine, his gray eyes deep. "Perhaps I can't ask you to take a certain course of action, you must do what you feel is right."

"I do regret that Obi-Wan and I have been a bit slower, in letting things progress," I admitted, "but...if you weren't also here, setting a different pace, he and I would feel like everything is perfectly normal. It wouldn't seem so slow. This is just...it's such an odd situation." I threw up my hands in frustration. "My head tells me that it's not logical to be in love with two people at the same time, things aren't supposed to happen that way. Call it a byproduct of the society I was raised in - there's an unspoken assumption that you either devote yourself wholly to one person, or to no one, and just hop from bed to bed to satisfy your body instead of your heart."

Master Qui-Gon sensed the direction of my thoughts and spoke the remainder for me. "Yet your heart is telling you something completely different, and you don't know which one to listen to."

"Right." I smiled weakly up at him. "While I do have certain beliefs I'm not going to throw away for anything, there's a lot of leeway, a lot of things that are acceptable if I could just wrap my mind around the concept. These feelings are so strong, and they won't stop, no matter what I might think is normal. They've got a mind of their own."

Qui-Gon stepped forward and tapped me lightly just above my heart. "Sometimes, the heart knows better than the mind what is good to do. Your mind can contain fears, irrational ideas, things that have been ingrained into your expectations without your conscious mind being aware of it. The heart, or as some call it the soul, is the seat of your instincts, and those are seldom wrong."

"I know," I enthused. "I should listen to my instincts more often, I'd be in a lot less trouble."

He folded his arms loosely around himself and fixed me with an intelligent look. "What do you think we should do about this conflict? What are your instincts telling you?"

I thought about it a moment. "I don't know," I groaned. "I just like being with both of you, but I'm always scared of hurting either of you. The pressure of making a choice is what bothers me, the whole weighing one against the other. I don't want to make a choice, or at least I want to put it off as long as possible in case one of us changes our mind about how we feel."

"Then don't," Qui-Gon encouraged. "Don't think about a choice. Pushing yourself is unfair to all of us, and punishing yourself for failing to be closer to one of us won't help. It seems we still need to let it be, and just wait." He gave a short, frustrated sigh. "We will sort it out when we return to Coruscant, for then we will have nothing else hanging over our heads. Right now the mission is too critical to let personal concerns get in the way."

"I agree," I said wisely. "I'll do what I can, but Obi-Wan and I are just not moving as fast as you and I are. We've got to just take it as it comes."

"I see that." Qui-Gon turned and started away. "Unfortunately, I must cut this short, I'm expected. Keep an eye on things, you're doing very well."

"Have a good day," I wished him. He flashed me a dubious smile over his shoulder on his way to the door. Once alone, I flopped back on the couch and groaned out loud at the ceiling. "Why does this have to be so complicated? Argh!" The ceiling had no response. It was a couple minutes before I considered, that had to be the oddest conversation I've had in my life.

Both Jedi remained out of the house for the better part of the day, and I was reduced to secretary yet again, intercepting calls and relaying messages while brushing up on the report being made with my natural code. For a while the transmissions came so thick and furious that I just parked myself in the office with the report in order to be able to catch them all. Only a few were actual messages, answers to questions, or responses to inquiries - the rest were disgruntled Daramindi of at least three races expressing their concerns about the Jedi. It appeared that my companions were up to more than they even told me for the sake of the report. I only had one small smile all day, when a transmission came in from Ba'nom. I came around the desk to address a seven-inch-high holograph who pleasantly re-introduced himself as minister Badela. "I regret that I cannot recall your name," he added.

"Stacey," I told him with a smile. Recalling their custom, I tapped a fist to my heart in view of the holographic transmitters. "What can I do for you, minister? Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are away and they want me to take down their messages."

Badela nodded briskly. "I have but a short message as it is, thank you. Please inform the Master Jedi that the answer to his query is no. I have not received any word, good or ill, from Skoda since he contacted me. No threats have been made to me, nor has my office found anything amiss. I have retained a guardian per the Master's suggestion, and will keep him until I receive the Master's sign that it is safe for me once again, but he should be pleased to know that my guardian is currently bored."

That made me laugh. "I will tell him exactly that, minister. I'm sure he'll be very happy to hear that you're okay."

"Of course. But if I do receive any word, of any kind, I will contact him immediately," the holograph added.

"I'll let him know."

A miniscule smile split the blue figure's miniscule face. "Thank you. It is a pleasure to see you again, and I wish you well in your continued mission."

Qui-Gon's happiness at this message was subdued. "This news only fuels our conspiracy theories," he explained when I asked him why. "Were the information in that document truly sensitive, Badela would have heard from the mining guild by now. Their silence speaks to covering up their mistake, regardless of whether they're aware we know it was a ruse in the first place." He finally allowed himself a smile. "I am very glad to hear that he is in no danger and Ba'nom is as quiet as usual."

There was less to write down that night than usual, and when I came to the end of dictation, Qui-Gon retrieved a scanner of some kind from the office and turned each page of my handwriting into an image which he stored in his holoprojector's memory, as well as a copy with every other existing file in the team archives. I ran upstairs to hide the report back behind my picture, and came back down to relax until bedtime. Obi-Wan had offered me a backrub, which I wasn't going to turn down for anything, though I planned to reciprocate for my weary working Jedi. Qui-Gon actually consented to remain in the room, to my surprise, and we all talked casually of things we would remember about Daramin when we had left it while the Padawan worked his magic on my back and shoulders. I suspected that had his Master not been there he might have been less platonic about it, but I wasn't complaining. Obi-Wan got his turn eventually, and I couldn't resist toying with his ponytail and caressing the sensitive back of his neck in between the massaging. From the color his neck turned, I could just imagine the blush on his face which was turned away from me. I didn't tease him too badly, though, for it was getting late and all three of us by that point were thinking only of getting some rest.

My deep, perfect sleep came suddenly to an end sometime in the middle of the night when a pulse of the Force jolted me rudely awake. Blinking confusedly in the darkness, I pushed my head up off the pillow just as a huge figure swished into my room. The light snapped on to reveal Qui-Gon, half-dressed, his robe thrown onto his bare shoulders and a grim, hard look on his bearded face. "Stacey, get up," he hissed urgently.

"Wha...?" I managed to burble.

"You must get up. Now." I had my blanket half off, but he seized it and helped me the rest of the way out of bed. "There's someone in the house."

That woke me up. "What?"

"I need to get you someplace safe. Obi-Wan and I will take care of it."

"But..." My mind was still trying to catch up, though my heart knew danger was in the air, for it was already racing. "What do you want me to do?"

"Take this." Qui-Gon flung his hand toward my fighting stick propped up in the corner, and it flew into his grip even as he pulled me with him out into the hallway. "Behind this door is a hidden staircase, it leads up to an escape door on the roof," he urgently whispered, handing me the staff and yanking aside a panel at the end of the hall that I thought was only a blank wall. "Go up there and wait until either Obi-Wan or I come get you."

"But..."

"Go!"

Swallowing my fear, I clutched my fighting stick in both hands and edged into the dark void in front of me, which became complete as Qui-Gon shut the door behind me. I groped to the stairs, nearly cursing out loud when my toes found them first, and skittered up them until my outstretched hand found a solid surface in front of me. For a second I hesitated, panting, and then remembered the tools given to me by the Master. Reaching for the Force, I let it be my eyes so I could find the little latch which turned my blank wall into a door, and also begged it to calm my adrenaline-charged heart. A square of light opened before me, the star-splashed night sky which seemed much brighter compared to the stifling blackness of the secret stairwell. Before me stretched the dim, gray expanse of the roof, sloping away on either side, but right where I came out there was a tiny, flat ledge. I crawled carefully out onto the flat space, dragging my stick behind me, and closed the door all but a crack behind me. It was colder than I expected at this time of night, and my arms erupted with goosebumps as I crouched down and wrapped them around my knees, holding my fighting stick out in front of me in both white-knuckled hands.

Below, the streets and the flower-bordered yard were dead silent. No wind stirred the trees, no sindi beetles sang in the dark of night. My head kept swiveling back and forth, aching to catch a strain of any sound, no matter whether it boded good or evil for me. I couldn't even hear sounds from the house, and that started me wondering. What did Qui-Gon mean, someone was in the house? Wouldn't CQ have alerted us to an intruder? For a fleeting moment I wondered if it was Xanatos. No one else in my esteem could get in without tripping over the security droid. I held my breath, waiting for a sign or anything, but the minutes dragged on without anything happening. I glanced at the door once or twice, willing it to open and reveal a Jedi with the all-clear. My eyes were on it and I was seriously contemplating going back down to see what was happening, or at least to go in out of the cold, when from the yard below I heard a crash. The shattering of a window echoed in the night, and immediately on its heels came the searing scream of blaster fire.

My heart leaped up into my throat, and my hands tightened on the fighting stick, but there was nowhere I could go. A flash to my right got my attention, and I leaned out as far as I dared to try to see the front yard below. Short flashes reflected vaguely against the trees like distant lightning, each one accompanied by the sound of a blaster bolt. Then a bright red streak shot out from the front of the building, its source still hidden from me by the angle of the roof, and sizzled into the distance. A hunched figure ran from the house, and as I watched, a blast shot from it towards the house, but immediately ricocheted back toward it. More shots, and then a second figure stumbled into the yard, sprawling into the garden for a moment before regaining its footing and dashing away into the night. The yard and the house fell silent, except that after a moment I thought I could hear the tell-tale buzz of a lightsaber blade, and a faint blue light flickered on the ground before a snap made it disappear.

Only then did I realize I was hyperventilating; I closed my eyes and leaned back against the cupola door to try to calm myself down. Let them be okay. Let them be okay. They've got to be okay. When I felt able to breathe once again, I tempted vertigo in order to stretch my neck out over the edge and try to see if the two bodies who had run away were coming back. The door whispered open behind me, and I was so surprised that I whirled around in place with my fighting stick held high like a sword, the muscles of my arms bunched for action. A tousled head poked out, and Obi-Wan's voice broke the silence as he shot out a hand to block my strike. "Stacey! It's all right. It's me."

"Obi!" I lowered the stick, gasping for breath all over again.

"Come back inside. It's safe."

I ducked into the cupola and found his hand waiting to guide me down the stairs without stumbling. Taking it, I followed him step by careful step back to the second floor, where I deposited my fighting stick in my room, and then on to the main floor. I still had the Padawan's hand clutched desperately between both of mine when he led me into the brightly-lit office where Qui-Gon waited. The room was a shambles - chairs overturned, papers scattered, and desk items strewn in randomly-flung patterns on the floor. The Master stood with his robed back to the door when we came in, shaking his head. "Master?" I timidly questioned.

He turned, and I sucked in my breath when I saw a long, red welt running across his bare chest. "It's all right," he cautioned. "I'm fine. It only stings a little."

"What happened?" I cried, letting go of Obi-Wan and rushing to him.

"Thieves." His voice rumbled in disgust. "They got most of the files, though we interrupted them in the middle of their search."

I gingerly reached a hand toward his injury, gauging it for myself. It didn't look like a blaster burn, more like an impact or a very large scratch. Obi-Wan appeared in my peripheral vision, and I glanced to find him holding out a med kit to me. I took it without a word and rummaged through it, squinting at the lettering on the vials inside. "We will need to take an inventory of which files they did get, Master," the Padawan said. "Then we will know whether they got anything that would damage our investigation."

"Begin with that, Padawan." Qui-Gon flinched a little as I sprayed some antiseptic on the welt, but he recovered quickly, relenting to my care. "I need to know what they got, and whether they cracked into the transmission logs. I will see to the damage to the house so they don't return." His eyes followed his apprentice as he righted a chair and sat down to check the database. "CQ?"

"Inoperable," Obi-Wan mumbled. "They knew what they were doing."

"That will complicate things."

"Is that better?" I asked the Master, looking up. I could only clean the scratch, for that was all it was, not deep at all but breaking the skin just enough to cause a nasty welt.

He smiled down. "Yes, thank you. It should heal well."

"What happened down here? I couldn't hear anything and then all of a sudden there was blaster fire and windows breaking..."

"We surprised two thieves here in the office," Qui-Gon answered, letting his eyes rove over the room. "They didn't break into this room, though, so they had to fight through us to get out. One had a vibroblade, I ducked but barely in time - he caught me across here." His thumb traced the sweep of the welt. "That caused enough of a distraction for them to get past us and down the hall. Obi-Wan cut them off at the door, so they shot out a window instead and took off running. Fortunately, we were able to deflect their fire."

"But they got off clean," Obi-Wan added, switching from the computer to the drawers of the desk in his search. "Why did you tell me not to pursue them, Master?"

"Because I don't think what they had was valuable enough to risk your life, or mine." Qui-Gon shook his head again. "And they know these streets better than either of us. I'm not confident that we could have overtaken them."

"How did they get in?" I worried. "CQ was on patrol. Why didn't he raise an alarm?"

"There is a function built into security droids like this one - unless there is a tangible, identifiable threat, they will not raise an alarm until they can confirm a security breach," the Master said. "It is preferred to having CQ wake up the residents every time it hears a noise, but it is the one flaw these people knew to exploit."

I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer, but I had to ask, "What did they do?"

Qui-Gon beckoned me to follow him as he headed down the hall toward the sitting room, leaving Obi-Wan to his search. "One of them broke a window far down here to get CQ's attention, while the other broke in elsewhere. He came in here and disabled CQ..." He paused at the droid's dark carcass sitting motionless by the shattered window, and I recoiled to see scorch marks from a blast of some kind on its shell and a panel removed, electrical entrails spilling from the interior. "Then the two of them were able to go to work. Fortunately, I was awake and sensed them in the house in time." He crouched down and combed through some of the wiring trailing from CQ's instrument panel, sighing. "And now we're left without security."

I looked away, feeling oddly like the droid was dead. "That's not good."

"I'm sure we'll make do." He straightened up and started back for the office, asking over his shoulder, "You made it all right?"

"Yeah. It was cold out there, though. I saw the two guys run off, but it was too dark to see where they went." I grinned vaguely to myself. "And then I almost took Obi-Wan's head off when he came to get me."

The Master snorted. "Good, very good. Obi-Wan?" We had returned. "What can you tell me?"

"I'm almost there, Master." The apprentice glanced briefly up from composing something on a datapad, his braid swinging idly across his bare chest. "The damage doesn't look so bad now."

Qui-Gon looked at me, then. "Where did you put the coded report?"

"The original copy is in my room," I answered. "Obi-Wan knows where it is."

"I checked on my way to get her," Obi-Wan offered. "It's safe."

"Good. But they may have the holo-copy."

"Yes, Master, they do. It's gone, as are these files." He handed up a datapad, its screen scrolling with a short list of characters. "And they took my other pad."

Qui-Gon stepped aside and leaned against the side of the desk while he read through the list presented to him, his face drawn for only a moment. He chuckled, and then settled down with a cool smile on his lips. "That's not so bad. It could have been far worse. They got our itinerary, that won't help them. The copy of the communications logs might be bad for some people on it...and they got my diary of the mission. Apart from the report which is in code, nothing here looks to be very important or valuable, and none of it was our only copy, thankfully. And you wonder why I keep two copies of my diary," he chided his apprentice. "That will be a complete waste of their time. They won't get anything of value from my detailing of local climate changes and musings on the races and cultures of the planet."

Obi-Wan's eyes were on the main computer screen again, but he snorted at that. "What?" I wondered. "Why? What's so special about that?"

"Master Qui-Gon does tend to be rather long-winded when he finds something that fascinates him intellectually," Obi-Wan replied dryly.

"They will have to wade through pages and pages of my thoughts before they realize there is no pertinent information in there," the Master smirked. "I'm not sure they'll find my discourse on Be'a'lai cultural practices very interesting."

I laughed out loud. "And thank goodness you have another copy of that," I snickered, "I'd hate to think that information was lost to us forever."

"Oh, I will recover it." The humor slid off Qui-Gon's face as he straightened up and dropped the datapad on the desk. "Regardless of the value of the information they stole, we must track it and find out who did it. If they were sent by anyone on this planet with ties to the Homeworld Alliance, it will be very bad for the Executor and his Board."

Obi-Wan got to his feet. "Are we going out right away, Master?"

"No. We will wait until morning." Qui-Gon looked around the room one more time. "For tonight we will have to set a watch. I will take the first shift - I will wake you in three hours, Obi-Wan." The Padawan nodded his agreement as we all filed out of the office and Qui-Gon switched off the light behind him. His hand glided onto my shoulder from behind. "You'll be safe with us. Just go back to sleep."

"If I can," I grumbled.

On to part 52

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