I nearly fell out of the hammock in my haste to get to my feet. The sun had been gradually disappearing behind a haze of high cloud, but the change in weather had hardly caught my attention. I looked up, shading my eyes with a hand, but the square opening of the courtyard was too small to see anything but that which was straight overhead. Thunder rumbled again, and with a squeal I dashed into the house and through the sitting room to get outside. From the porch I could look across the village to the direction of the oncoming dark clouds, not knowing if it was west or south or some direction only the Be'a'lai called it. A few people in the streets looked at the clouds as well, but only one or two thought them cause to hurry wherever they were going. I stared at the low-hanging shelf just barely cresting the ridge, and eventually was rewarded with a shapeless flicker of lightning. A grin sprawled across my face. It was a real thunderstorm cell, just like back home, with a deadly-looking gust front churning out ahead of it. I was so entranced that I completely forgot to wonder where my two Jedi companions were.

Several minutes of unabashed staring went by, while the clouds rolled closer and closer. Movement in the periphery of my vision caught my attention; to one side, I could see farmers and laborers leaving the fields in haste, and to the other, children were being called in from the eaves of the forest below the ridge. The dead calm of the past day and a half was suddenly broken by the storm's downdraft, which blew dust into my eyes and instantly hushed any sindi beetles still singing from the bushes. The Be'a'lai still about on the streets moved a lot more quickly now, heading indoors, though a few were like me, standing on their porches watching the clouds. They pointed and discussed it with one another, neither disturbed nor excited, but passively interested. Sheeted flashes of lightning kept turning my head back toward the towering storm, which had completely obliterated the sun and was advancing behind the wind. The yellow grass of the ridge stood out eerily against the inky blue-black pall of the clouds. My awe and delight barely contained, I stood there watching it come on over the fields until I became aware that the comlink in my pocket was making noise.

"There's a storm coming," Qui-Gon said as if I hadn't already seen it. "We're trying to make it back before it hits, but we might not.""Where are you?" I asked.

"On the other side of the ridge, outside the crystal mine." The comlink signal fuzzed as a particularly brilliant stroke of lightning made me look sharply up. "We may have to seek shelter somewhere nearby."

"Okay. I'll get the ham - er, slings, off the porch." I paused, grinning mischievously, and decided to add, "It's a really lovely storm, Master."

"Yes, I can see that," he said, though his voice sounded only marginally interested. They must have been in the middle of something important. "If we can't get back, I will let you know where we are."

Pocketing the comlink, I gave the storm one more longing look. The first stab of cloud-to-ground lightning was followed seconds later by an angry roll of thunder. Huge raindrops were just starting to pelt the dry ground as I ducked inside and went to bring in the hammocks.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan did not make it back before the storm hit, but shortly after rain began drumming heavily on the shingled roof, I heard the creak of the door and bounced out of my bedroom. Two soaking-wet Jedi met me in the hallway, their tunics clinging limply to their frames, Qui-Gon's long hair hanging in black ropes to his shoulders and Obi-Wan's standing up in sharply-defined spikes. A curious gleam lit the Master's eyes as he came in sight of me. "Enjoying the weather?"

"Ooo very much, yes," I answered him as they shouldered past and disappeared into their rooms. In minutes they were back, first one then the other, in dry clothing and bare feet. I had gone to the front room for a comfy seat, and smiled up at them as they returned, sighing, "Isn't it awesome?"

Thunder shook the ground, and something on a shelf rattled. Qui-Gon smiled knowingly. "Just what you were hoping for, I believe."

"What do you mean?" Obi-Wan queried.

His Master gestured toward me with a nod of his head. "She likes storms."

"Really?" The Padawan chuckled in disbelief, but when he saw the size of my grin, he shook his head and decided not to ask me to elaborate.

It was as dark as night inside the house. For a moment the rain nearly subsided, hushing to a whisper on the roof while the thunder grew impatient and loud. I sat listening, trying not to ooh and ahh at every single peal. Then the front door was blown open with a bang, and a shrill rattling pinged off the roof: hail. Stones as big as marbles crashed and bounced all around us. The thunder returned in full force, sounding as though the air above us was being torn asunder molecule by molecule. I breathed in deep drafts of the rain-cooled air and curled up in the chair, happy beyond expression. The Jedi alternately paced and stood by the screened front door to watch the weather play havoc with Dindee. But, apart from leaves blown wildly out of the jungle, and the little white balls peeping from the yellow grass, no trace was left of nature's violence once the rain had gone.

After all the excitement of the storm, the night turned cool and quiet, and stars reappeared as the clouds receded. I slept a lot better that night, and had no unusual dreams, making it much easier to face the Jedi in the morning. It turned out there was nothing really curious or important in Dindee after all, though Obi-Wan mentioned to me as we were preparing the landspeeder for the trip back to Ba'nom, he suspected there was something on Qui-Gon's mind after he had seen the mine and spoken with its owners. Whatever it was, the Master didn't share it, and Obi-Wan's single attempt at finding it out was put off with a placid, "Nothing. If it becomes important, I will tell you." I didn't know how to interpret that, but the Padawan did, and dropped his questioning accordingly.

From there it was back through Ba'nom and out to another settlement, this one much larger than Dindee but also much more new. Still, it had the unique charm of the Be'a'lai imprinted all over it - hand-built houses of the square kind, energetic residents going about their work as if it were play, and brassy sunshine scorching fields and skin. The passing storms hadn't completely driven away the tropical moisture in the air - quite the contrary - but it did feel a little cooler to me. The folks in Dindee didn't mind if we kept anything out of the storage closet in the Jedi house, so I nabbed the sarong and a shirt that was way too small for any in-the-field Jedi I had ever seen. Only by the gracious gift of the Be'a'lai was I able to survive two more nights of soaking humidity before finally trundling back to Ba'nom for one more look-around.

The Be'a'lai chieftain came to see us alone on our last night among his people, but it became quickly clear that his intention was not to merely see us off with a few last words to take with us to Takra, or to curry some last-minute favor out of the Jedi. He arrived just as I was dancing around the courtyard in an attempt to taunt Obi-Wan, who had decided to give my fighting stick a try and managed to almost put it through a window. Qui-Gon stood under the eaves of the porch smirking, but as the spritely little man appeared at his side, he stepped back and gave the chieftain a respectful bow. I ceased waggling my backside and grabbed the stick out of Obi-Wan's hands before he could do any more damage, standing still with a calm smile for the chieftain. "What have we here?" he croaked, his jewel-bright eyes gleaming in the afternoon sun. "Aspiring to become a Be'a'lai warrior?"

I hid bashfully behind the stick. "Something like that."

"It was a gift for her birthday, to help her lessons," Qui-Gon explained.

"Ah." The chieftain nodded sagely. "A Jedi warrior, then. Very good. These days even the innocent can use a good skill like that."

Qui-Gon turned to escort the chieftain back into the house, and after a careful moment, Obi-Wan and I followed. "Surely the street crime in Ba'nom isn't that bad," the Master said almost flippantly, though I was aware he knew full well exactly what the level of street crime in Ba'nom was.

"I do what I can to guide the Be'a'lai as our ancestors would wish," the chieftain mused, all cheeriness fading from his voice for once as he paced across the sitting room and glanced cautiously out the front-facing windows. With the air conditioner on, we kept the glass panes closed. "But, we are only one part. Daramin is growing, and though the Jedi may find little to concern them here, their work is still cut out for them. I think it may be a long time yet before the overseers complain of having nothing to do." He squinted up at Qui-Gon as if seeking a challenge to his observation.

"There is much to do on Daramin yet," the Master solemnly agreed, "but it has been a long time since a team had need to draw weapons - and from where I stand, it appears it will be longer still before anyone does." His left hand gracefully glided along the black grip of his lightsaber.

The chieftain's look hardened. "If you think so," he said cautiously, "then you have learned very little about Daramin so far. Of course," he added, and the warning completely disappeared beneath a smile, "the Be'a'lai make it easy for you. Peace only, and nothing to hide. Best maybe for your team to look elsewhere, we will not take any more of your time." He faced Qui-Gon directly and placed his closed fist over his heart, a gesture I had never seen the chieftain do no matter how many people did it to him. "Thank you for hearing our concerns, and giving your advice. The Jedi are always welcome among the Be'a'lai. May the rest of your journey be as fair as it has been among us."

I waited until the chieftain had left, while the two Jedi stirred uncomfortably in the silence that followed, and then asked in a low voice, "What in the world is going on with these people? That's the second time he's made veiled references to danger."

Qui-Gon bowed his head briefly. "It is not in their nature to speak openly of anything they can't define with certainty," he murmured thoughtfully. "Especially if it involves making an accusation against someone. I sense that they are leading us on, but to a deliberate and noble end."

"They know something," I growled. "They should just tell you what it is."

"They won't."

"They seem to want us to figure it out for ourselves," Obi-Wan added.

Qui-Gon nodded concludingly. "Then, we will. The moment we leave Be'a'lai territory, I want you to be on your guard, Obi-Wan. Let nothing go unnoticed."

"Yes, Master."

Kind gray eyes turned to me. "I only hope the part about you needing a weapons skill was a joke."

*****

The next day, another low-level cargo shuttle picked us up in the landing field and sped us halfway across the planet to northern latitudes, and I was already thanking whatever powers moved this galaxy that I wouldn't have to put up with the heat and humidity anymore. My bag was getting a little more full, with all our extra clothing from the tropics and my gift from Obi-Wan. I delighted in carrying the fighting stick around, it would make a very fun toy until I could get back to the Jedi Temple and show it to my fight instructor. The shuttle's pilot gave me a weird look when I carried it on board, but his job was only to ferry the Jedi overseers and not to make editorial comments about their companions or choice of luggage. It was late in the day when we were dropped off at a very small, dingy compound of buildings in the middle of a gorgeous green forest. The shuttle was also carrying a load of supplies, which the pilot immediately turned to unloading as we disembarked and stepped into the fresh air.

The sun was beginning to drop behind the trees, and the clearing in which we stood was dappled with dark green shadows. I looked up at the deep blue dome of sky peppered with tiny, fair-weather clouds and sighed at a strong jolt of memory. This place looked and felt very much like home. But, just then the reverie was shattered by the stranger who came to greet us. A tall, thin Pfandi man, his skin almost as scarlet as Te's, ambled in our direction with something of a curious look on his swept-back features. Qui-Gon faced him squarely and bowed his head slightly, and the man straightened up as if realizing suddenly what was going on. "Are you the Jedi team? I'm sorry, I wasn't notified you'd be coming to the station."

"I know, I gave no advance warning," the Master assured, pausing only to introduce himself and his Padawan. I stayed quietly behind them, accustomed to this when they were on the job. "I hope our being here isn't an inconvenience," Qui-Gon continued.

"Oh, no...not at all. It will just take me a moment to find you quarters. Je Nel Ves," he gave as his name, clasping his hands in front of him and bobbing his head.

"Are you the only one at the station at this time?" Master Qui-Gon went on.

"No, sir. High Point Base is home to about thirty Pfand even in the quiet season, like now. There are plenty of empty housing units if you'd like to take one...er, how long do you expect to be at the Base?"

Je Nel turned and started walking toward the modular buildings, Qui-Gon staying in step with him. They were about the same height, but Je Nel was clad in clean, grayish fatigues and an off-white vest, a stark contrast to the earth-toned Jedi Master. "Two days, maybe three," came the casual reply. "I didn't give notice because this is not an official visit. We merely need some time away to regroup and plan the remainder of our mission."

Je Nel relaxed noticeably at that. "Ah, well...that's good. Good for you. That's right, I've heard teams like to come to High Point to take a break. We're not much use for anything else these days, though I admit I've never had contact with the Jedi overseers outside of official business."

I looked at the buildings we passed between while Je Nel prattled on about the base. Some were no more than prefabricated colony housing, very old-looking, while others were an attempt at turning the standard issue housing into something more unique and stylish. Most were empty, but as we went further there were signs of life as well as added comfort: a porch here and there, flowers in pots, a curtain in a cold transparisteel window. Occasionally, I glimpsed a red-skinned Pfand going about their business, tinkering with a speeder in a garage or sweeping off a leaf-littered porch. We passed straight through these houses and on to another deserted portion of the base, where Je Nel paused. Further on, the broad dirt causeway we had been following struck a path upward along a wooded ridge. I traced it with my eyes and saw another building far up above us in the trees, at the crown of the hill. An enormous radar dish pointed skyward from the roof. I was only half listening to our host's narrative as I took in everything, until I heard Qui-Gon say, "Yes, our privacy is of concern. I would prefer if Takra was not notified of our location."

I glanced at him, finding him as calm and composed as he ever was while on a mission. Hands inside sleeves, back straight, it was the old Jedi Master I had come to love long before meeting him that stood beside me. My eyes flicked to the gangly Je Nel for his reaction. "Of course," the Pfandi agreed after an uncomfortable pause. "As you wish, Master Jedi. Will this place suit your privacy needs?"

He pointed to one of the empty buildings across the road. It looked to have been built well after the other modular compartments of the colony had been raised, augmenting pre-fab pieces with native wood. It was nearly surrounded by trees and had a stretch of shaded lawn in back. The nearest inhabited dwelling was about a block away. "Yes, this will do," Qui-Gon replied. "Thank you. My apologies if we cause you any trouble."

Je Nel relaxed even more. "No apology necessary, Master. We're supposed to be ready to help out in case the Jedi ever pass through, but I can't remember the last time anyone actually stayed here. Do you need to see the station, or anyone here at the base? Wik Laren is in charge of operations..."

"No," Qui-Gon quickly said. "That will not be necessary. I will contact the administrator if we do choose to look in on the station, but it would only be for curiosity's sake. We have a lot to prepare for, so I expect to be holed up here making plans and contacting other settlements instead."

"I see. Well, if you need any assistance, you know how to contact me or Wik." Giving another short bob of his head, Je Nel Ves backed slowly away from us until he could turn around and start up the path up the hill.

Qui-Gon watched him go, and once the gray-clad figure disappeared into the trees, he smiled down at me. "Is this more to your liking than Ba'nom?"

"Where are we?" was all I wanted to know.

"High Point Base. It's a weather-monitoring station." The Master gestured toward the blocky building perched at the top of the ridge. "One of few that track global weather, for the colonization effort as well as for daily use by the citizens of Daramin." He looked at me again as both Obi-Wan and I returned our attention to him. "It is also a failed colony. Agriculture failed here, and there is no other viable resource - except perhaps aesthetic."

"It is very pretty," I mentioned off-handedly. "We're here for a break?"

"Jedi teams are allowed to take a day or two during the course of the mission to set aside duty and re-focus," Qui-Gon explained as he led the way into the house that had been offered us.

"That's not all we're here for, is it Master?" Obi-Wan knowingly challenged once we were inside. It was dark with shadow, but the sun filtering through leaves made speckled patterns on the far wall and floor.

Qui-Gon spoke in a low voice even though we were safe from prying eyes and ears. "That is correct, Obi-Wan. Our purpose as overseers is not so much to investigate and report, but to be a deterrent presence. After the comments the chieftain of the Be'a'lai made to us, I thought we should disappear for a few days. At the moment, what is important to the mission is not where we are, but where we are not."

"Keeping the Daramindi on their toes?" I queried.

The Master smiled coolly at me. "That is precisely it."

"If they don't know where we are, they won't know what to expect from us," Obi-Wan observed. "A very clever plan, Master."

"It's not all that clever," Qui-Gon demurred as he poked around in cabinets and negotiated around the disused furniture. "I did intend to take a break approximately halfway through the mission as it was. We have exactly six weeks left to it, so now is a good time to step back and regroup." His gaze found me. "And indulge in a small diversion."

I gave him a wary look back. "Just what sort of diversion are you looking for?"

"Whatever is to be had." Master Qui-Gon casually sauntered across the room and through an entranceway into the back room, not caring whether we went after him. "There is a porch," he noted, raising his voice to be heard. "We could sit and enjoy the weather. The space behind the house looks to be large enough to spar and practice."

I shot Obi-Wan a sort of "Aha, I knew it" look as I chased after the elder Jedi to see what he was talking about. The back room contained a few uncomfortable-looking chairs, but I was looking past them to the rear porch and the shade-dappled back yard. The unkempt grass wasn't too long, as I could see small songbirds hopping through it looking for insects. There was nothing to see but trees, and no sound but the sigh of the wind in the leaves. Qui-Gon stood in the door gazing quietly at the scenery, his arms folded, though he glanced over his shoulder when he heard me enter. I took a deep breath and let it out in a huge, contented sigh. "It's wonderful."

A lazy smile drifted across his lips. "It has everything you could possibly want."

"Except food." I made an impertinent face. "When's dinner?"

He blinked and then turned to go back to the front room. "Of course. Je Nel selected these quarters for us but they certainly can't be stocked."

I stayed where I was, enchanted by the superb plainness of the view. I couldn't have asked for a better day, it was all there: cool weather, wind in the leaves, late-day sun playing hide-and-seek with the trees, and utter tranquility. High Point Base may not be good for colonizing and growing crops, but if the Daramindi were smart, they'd turn it into a resort for tourists. Then again, I thought to myself with a smirk, the only tourist on the planet at the moment has to be me. So far, everything seemed rather business-like even in places where civilization had existed for the entire history of the world. There was no room just yet for visitors. Pity, I mused. It's ideal, as long as you don't mind roughing it a little.

It was a while before the Jedi came back to find me, though I enjoyed the quiet time thoroughly, just watching birds. I heard the clunk of their boots on the wood floor and Obi-Wan's laughter. "Well, that would certainly put an end to your perfect record, Master," he was teasing.

I turned and leaned on the window. "Perfect record of what?"

"Being prepared," the Padawan answered, failing to stifle an impish grin. "The house is bare, there's nothing to eat, to wash with, or to make the beds with. Whoever owned it last took everything but the furniture."

Qui-Gon gave him an exasperated sigh. "I've made the call to Wik Laren, the administrator at the weather station. He will get back to me as soon as he can."

"Meanwhile, we're hungry and tired," I grinned at him, feeling neither but making the most of the opportunity to taunt the otherwise un-tauntable Master, "and up a crick without a paddle."

"Up a who?" Obi-Wan burst out.

"Never mind."

"I think we can survive an hour or two without a meal," Qui-Gon scolded us both.

The main door chose that moment to buzz the arrival of a visitor. With a stern look at Obi-Wan and I that made us both dissolve into giggles, the Master went to answer it. "Come here," I offered my companion, "come see the porch."

There was a regular old screen door standing in the way, which I unlatched and pushed open. I had taken to referring to them as "analog doors," as opposed to electronic, especially because it amused the Jedi. They found it interesting that only public buildings on Earth - stores, banks, airports - had the technology, while residences still used analog doors. This strange dwelling had both; the electronic door at the main entrance was a part of the original pre-fab module that now formed only the front room, while the back room, bedrooms, and porch had been added on later. I walked the length of the porch and leaned on one of the posts, smiling back at Obi-Wan as he investigated independently. There was a long, high-backed bench against the wall, and an overgrown bucket of weeds that might have been a flowerbox in times past. The young apprentice chose another support post to lean against and breathed deeply. "It's very nice."

"Sure we can't stay here the rest of the mission?"

Obi-Wan chuckled, his eyes wandering to the lawn spattered with golden drops of sunlight. "You would get bored. All there is to do is sit, and perhaps watch Master Qui-Gon and I spar back here."

"Oh yeah, that would make me so bored," I snorted, heavy on the sarcasm.

"Fine, then. You can spar with him."

"Dude!" I abruptly exclaimed. "I've never actually sparred with him, you know that? He taught me moves and stuff, but whenever we practice it's always you I have to fight against." Obi-Wan looked at me, a smile glowing in his eyes. I shook my head. "He would kick my butt."

"If by that you mean he would defeat you, then yes, he would," the Padawan said dryly. "Soundly. Perhaps without even breaking a sweat."

"Yeah, thanks. Rub it in."

A delightful laugh escaped him, and he bowed his head almost to his chest as he tried to rein it in. After a moment, he caught his breath and looked my way again, dimples in his cheeks. "How I've missed having you around."

I blushed fiercely, but grinned back. "What, because I'm cheap entertainment?"

"I love your expressions. Your mannerisms. Your energy." A thunk of boots behind us arrested our attention. Qui-Gon's form shadowed the doorway. "Master," his apprentice greeted. "Who was at the door?"

"Believe it or not," Qui-Gon answered, a taste of laughter in his voice, "it was a kind neighbor from down the road, who saw us arrive with no supplies and thought we might be able to use some dinner." He gestured with his head back toward the other rooms. "There is a dish of roasted vegetables, fish from the river nearby, and fresh-baked bread."

Obi-Wan and I gaped in astonishment at each other. "Dang!" I yelped, and it echoed in the stillness of the forest. "I have died and gone to heaven - this place is perfect!"

By the time the sun left the sky above dark blue in the wake of its retreat, the utter perfection of our temporary vacation had impressed itself upon me. Not only was the gifted dinner delicious, Je Nel Ves came along shortly after we had finished with a couple of metal crates full of supplies of all kinds, culled from the extra stores in the station. To top it all off, I was told that we were too far north for sindi beetles, so I could run around outdoors unafraid. Nothing could have shattered my good mood, I was buzzing around the house - calling it a cabin because it reminded me of one - full of chatter and laughter for my two Jedi companions to enjoy. We sat outside on the porch until it was too dark to see each other, and then came inside to continue the conversation along with hot mugs of tea. Before too long, Obi-Wan was yawning and stretching, making comments about going to bed that went unfulfilled for about another hour. Since I had slept in before our transport came to rescue us from Ba'nom, I was far from tired and kept encouraging the Padawan to go to bed, insisting that I would keep Master company. After one too many lulls in conversation, Qui-Gon himself glanced over at his apprentice and implored, "Obi-Wan, you should go to bed before you fall asleep in that chair."

"I doubt that's possible," Obi-Wan retorted, shifting uncomfortably. It was no wonder the previous occupants had left the chairs, they were hard and square and not much fun to sit in.

"Obi-Wan," Master Qui-Gon said again, in just that tone that made all other words unnecessary.

"Very well." Obi-Wan pried himself out of the chair with difficulty and made his way to the bedrooms, brushing a hand along my arm as he passed me and said good night. I smiled up at him and whispered the benediction in return before settling my gaze on Qui-Gon.

The Master shook his head slowly. "He was up before even I was, this morning," he said quietly by way of explanation for his Padawan's sleepiness. "I'm not sure why. He said there was something on his mind."

"Nothing serious, I hope," I remarked.

"I don't know. He chose not to share it with me." Another lull passed between us, during which we could faintly hear movement in one of the two bedrooms, rustling and an occasional clunk. Qui-Gon sipped delicately at what was left of his tea, adopting a placid, emotionless stare directed at nothing. "You're not tired?" he wondered of me.

"Not quite," I answered in a subdued voice. "Getting there, but..." I shrugged a shoulder.

Qui-Gon accepted that with a nod and, after a thoughtful moment, put aside his cup. He folded his empty hands and rested them in his lap as he fixed me with gentle gray eyes. "And I assume, feeling better now that we've left the tropics."

"Oh, gosh yes. I hate being so hot I can't sleep." A memory of my misguided attempt to artificially cool down flashed through my mind, and I didn't suppress the rueful smirk that came to my lips.

The Master must have noticed, for he sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, the gray eyes becoming more direct. "I hope you learned a lesson from that. You must be cautious in dealing with things you know nothing about. Things are not always as they seem."

"I know. I'm usually good about that - Master, you know I am." I sat a little forward myself, facing him straightforwardly. "I won't suffer any long-term effects from the mind-altering part, will I?"

His eyes softened, and laugh lines appeared at their corners. "No, you shouldn't. It was only a temporary effect to your mood." The laugh lines faded. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah...fine. Why?"

"As long as you feel no adverse effects, you have nothing to fear." Qui-Gon sat back again, with one of those half-smiles that hid what he was thinking. The topic of conversation had me automatically closed off to the Force, for protection, or I would have attempted to see through the inscrutable stare. "It's not the sort of thing you have much experience with, is it?" he wondered in a low voice.

"Uh...no," I replied with embarrassment. "None at all."

Wisdom settled into his face. "I find that hard to believe. Well," he clarified, "perhaps not the exact nature of what happened, but that you're such a stranger to that realm of emotions."

I looked away shyly. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"You're a fine young woman, the kind any man would treasure for life and be a fool to give up," Qui-Gon said in a dusky almost-whisper. "I was surprised when you once said you've never been in love."

I felt my cheeks burning under the influence of that voice, that stare. "Well, it's true."

I sensed rather than saw him sit forward again, as I was keeping my eyes averted from his face. "And now? Have things changed since you once said that?"

Oh man, why are we having this discussion now? I closed my eyes in complete avoidance and didn't answer. All the questions, doubts, and worries that had been swirling around my head since I landed on Daramin came crashing in, all yammering to be heard at the same time. Was it so recent, though? No, I had carried the seeds of doubt ever since Master Adi had spoken to me, a month or two ago, about how hard it was to maintain friendship with a Jedi. I thought I would violate some cosmic rule of decency in desiring more, that my little flirtations were harmless because neither this Master nor his Padawan would ever really be in love with me...would they? But with Qui-Gon sitting across from me, speaking softly, his eyes dancing, I realized that I had picked a dangerous toy to play with. The affections of a Jedi are not easily won, and not a casual thing to hold onto once captured.

"Stacey?" came the soft, concerned question.

I opened my eyes, suddenly noticing the tears that had squeezed out of them. "Nothing, it's nothing," I tried to assure, wiping them away. "I'm okay."

Qui-Gon's face had taken on his Masterly persona, infinitely still and serene but seething beneath with care, interest, and wisdom. "It is not nothing," he said perceptively, his voice still low but now sounding weary instead of coy. "Ever since you arrived here, I've noticed you flinching away from me. At first I thought I had merely distracted you, in the kitchen, but when you continued to avoid me it became clear something is wrong. I know that your feelings for me have not changed, or I would suspect you didn't want me around." His eyes darkened, and his brow furrowed. "Or, have they?"

"No," I quickly answered, then paused to think. It was the correct answer. "No," I said again, more rationally, "I care for you as much as I ever have, Master. It's just...I don't know. I don't understand it myself. Maybe...I just wasn't ready."

His expression did not change. "Do you not want this level of relationship? Do you not feel that way about me?"

"No, that's not it either." Not after seeing you in that hammock...! I sighed in frustration. "It's not that at all. I do want that level...sort of, I..." Another sigh, and this time I used its momentum to propel me to my feet and get away - away from the confrontation. I wandered toward the back door, staring out the windows.

"Yet, you still restrain yourself," the Master observed, "as you have ever since we met. Even though you know I care for you, you hold back."

"It's not because I want to," I confessed nervously. "There's so much I want, so much I wish I could do...with you."

Qui-Gon got to his feet as well and came after me. "What's stopping you?"

I glanced sheepishly away from his piercing eyes and gave a resigned shrug. "Propriety."

"But what is or isn't proper?" He paused a step or two away from me, and almost took a step back in retreat. "Or, do you still see me only as a Jedi Master, and not as a man?"

It was like lightning had struck. I whirled sharply toward him with a little gasp. "That's it! That's exactly how I've been feeling. It's hard..." I lifted my eyes to his and saw the shadow of some unpleasant emotion deep inside. Feeling like a complete idiot, I took a deep breath and mentally let go of the Force-based control I had wrapped around me, so that he would know I was speaking the truth. "I can't help it. I have so much respect for that Jedi Master, I can't ignore it. It's hard to put aside everything I know about the Jedi Qui-Gon and see you just as a man, who thinks and feels like any other man."

He sighed long and half-closed his eyes. "I have been guilty of the same," he admitted quietly. "Seeing you as a girl, rather than a woman. A woman without any need to restrain or subvert her emotions, except what she decides to herself." He stepped up beside me, then, and gazed solemnly down. "I wish I had the freedom of making that choice."

I frowned up at him, worried. Now that I was no longer keeping such a tight hold of my emotions, I could reach out with the Force. There was no jumble of emotions in his mind, only a strong sense of restrained power, and a tang of regret that reminded me much of something I sensed in him long ago. "What do you mean?" I wondered anxiously.

Qui-Gon shifted his glance out the window for a moment. "I was concerned that perhaps by withholding from you the simple gestures of affection most people take for granted, I had given you the impression that I do not feel the same about you as you do for me. I'm glad to see that wasn't the case, but..." He sighed again. "Forgive me. I have been unable to act. Such things are better shared privately, but I have not had a truly private moment with you until you joined us here."

A question crossed my mind, making me frown again. "But...we've had plenty of private time at the Jedi Temple. All that time in between missions..."

Qui-Gon's face went still in a very unsettling way. "The Jedi Temple is not as private as it appears," he said quietly. But, that was all he said about it, for when he spoke again, the shadow had passed and his voice was colored with friendly affection again. "Then, I haven't upset you by being so forward all of a sudden?"

"No," I reassured, smiling at last. "The fault isn't yours, it's mine. I didn't mean to pull away from you," I added honestly, pleadingly. "It just...the sudden attention was startling. I've never had anyone treat me the way you have, it scares me a little. I just have to get used to it - get over this impression that you're an untouchable icon and really..." I let my gesturing hand fall against his chest, registering the feel of soft tunics and the heartbeat beneath them. "...find the human being underneath. All the same, don't rush me, but..."

"I understand." A faint smile returned to his eyes, and he reached out to brush his hand along my cheek. "As long as you know that I do care, even if my actions don't bear out my feelings."

I nodded, blushing once again. "Yes, Master..."

His fingertips came to rest on my lips, forcing me to be silent. "First, however," he said in that low, dusky whisper, "I need to teach you that when we are alone...I want to hear you call me by my name."

I closed my eyes to try to wrestle the sudden thrill that had leaped up from my heart into submission, noticing that the breath I drew was shaky. His hand fell away, inviting me to breathe, "Qui-Gon."

"There. It's not difficult, is it?" He kept with the murmur, which intensified the sensual undertone his voice naturally carried regardless of what he was saying. "That may help you see the man beneath the robes of a Master. I am both at once."

Looking up at him, I understood at last and breathed a long sigh of relief. The fears and doubts crumbled in a wave of something I don't think I ever felt before in my life...it was hard to put a word to the feeling, but I liked it. My being here was right - wonderfully, acceptably, right. Emotions were not wrong, closeness was not wrong. The world outside could not fathom my relationship to Qui-Gon Jinn, but as long as we could, nothing else mattered. He seemed to share my conclusion, as he gazed down at me with blue sparks smoldering in his eyes. I shifted my eyes downward to his mouth...that mouth, which could either be the focus of concealing his emotions, or be the sole betrayer of them. Whether still and expressionless, or curved with the slightest smile, his lips were the ultimate expression of himself. My eyes lingered for a long time, reveling in their fullness, marveling at the perfect frame made by his moustache and beard, so gray and yet not. He breathed calmly, evenly, each exhalation whispering over my face. A very slight movement of his head made me close my eyes, and I intuitively sensed his closeness, the heat of his blood and breath warming my skin. We hesitated, only breathing, our faces centimeters apart, my heart thudding so loud in my ears that I swore he could hear it. I couldn't move, I only waited for what I knew would come, both wanting it and afraid of it. It seemed forever before a gentle pressure brushed my lips, testing, questioning. His lips. He was kissing me. Soft, unhurried, his lips stroked mine until my instincts took over and I was able to return it.

For the first time I knew what it meant to have time stand still. A million things were ricocheting through my head all at once, but they couldn't distract me from the distinct impression of those kisses, the presence both physical and in the Force that wrapped itself around me and refused to let go. I lost all track of myself, I knew nothing but the exquisite feel of Qui-Gon's gentle kiss playing over my mouth, slowly and delicately. I was afraid to let him press further, but he knew - he knew everything. He wisely held back just a little while I fumbled and tried to meet him, showing eternal patience for my lack of experience. Qui-Gon was a Master at this as he was at everything else. His lips were warm and pliable, sometimes brushing whisper-light across mine, sometimes pressing firmly, moist and full. Now and then his tongue lightly traced my lower lip, leaving me gasping. My upper lip tingled where his moustache scratched across it, but he was so careful not to let it happen so often as to cause me discomfort. Every once in a while we both paused for breath, and in the intervening spaces, felt each others' breath caress our faces.

I admit I broke away first, needing to breathe and to gather my wits. My heart thundered at a breakneck pace, and a tingle of excitement was jolting all up my spine and through my limbs. Moreover, the Force itself was charged with the intensity of our emotions and danced tangibly on my skin. Qui-Gon leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, so that we could each just breathe in the presence of the other, eyes closed and minds flung wide open. My lips were still wet, my hands still shaking where I had them unconsciously clenched on the Master's sleeves. He heaved a long sigh, and pressed a few small kisses to my nose and cheeks where he could reach them. I gradually opened my eyes and saw his face so close, achingly familiar and yet colored now with an entirely new nuance, that I had to quickly suck in a trembling breath lest I faint in his arms. One last kiss blessed my forehead before Qui-Gon drew me close and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me comfortingly to his chest. There was nothing to say or one of us would have said it. Impressions were enough, incoherent mental caresses traded in the Force, all seeming to carry a note of gratitude, and relief. The waiting was over, and the reward was very good. We stood together, supporting each other, until the night grew old and the need for sleep overcame the power of this incredible shared moment. The last thing I saw before pulling closed the door to my solitary room was Qui-Gon's tall figure in the other bedroom doorway, shoulders thrown back as if youth had retaken his aging body. In the darkness, I could just glimpse the soft gleam of his eyes before the door hid them from my sight.

On to part 43

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