In A Strange Land, part 41
Sometime in the afternoon, as I hid from the sun in the scant shade of the inner porch around the courtyard, voices alerted me to the return of two very busy Jedi. I had left one door open so as to hear when someone came in, and for the artificially cool breeze that came from it to make my outdoor relaxation a little more comfortable. "Where is she?" I heard first - Obi-Wan.
"I'm not sure. Stacey?" The Master raised his voice enough that I could hear it clearly outside.
"I'm out on the porch!" I yelled back vaguely. I couldn't tell where in the house they were by their voices, and at the time didn't think of pinpointing their location with the Force.
Qui-Gon appeared in the doorway beside me, just as I looked up to see whose footsteps I was hearing. He had his hands braced on the door frame as if to hide anything that might be behind him. "There you are."
"Welcome back," I smiled up at him.
"Would I be interrupting anything if I asked you to come inside?"
"Uh...no," I replied, my curiosity growing. That was certainly an unusual way of saying hello. I got up and waited for him to get out of the way, which he did after checking over his shoulder. "What's up?"
As I came inside and closed the door behind me, Obi-Wan straightened swiftly up from draping his robe over something; he grinned distractedly as he immediately stood in front of it. He glanced at Qui-Gon and, receiving an approving nod, stepped aside. "Happy birthday."
I wasn't sure what he was up to, but the robe was spread over something on a table in the sitting room, so I assumed I was to pull it off and see what was underneath. I picked up the hem of the robe and folded it aside, and my confusion evaporated rapidly as I saw what they were hiding. "You guys got me presents?" I gasped.
"I remember you said, once, that it was a tradition among your people," Qui-Gon explained. "There is no reason why we shouldn't hold to your traditions. It's not much," he added modestly. "You didn't give us enough warning, all we could do was look around the market here in Ba'nom. If you want, we can take you out on Coruscant when we return and look for something else."
"No, don't you dare!" I scolded him with a chuckle. "I don't need anything, really! This is just too nice, you guys are way too good to me." There were two objects on the table, a long staff and a framed picture. I picked up the staff and began to inspect it. "So, what have we here? Who got me what?"
"That is a Be'a'lai fighting stick," Qui-Gon answered the first question.
I hefted the five-foot-long stick in both hands, finding the wooden shaft sanded smooth and varnished, with the final foot or so on each end painted with colorful abstract symbols. "The Be'a'lai fight with sticks?" I asked for clarification.
The Master nodded slowly. "At least, it is one of the weapons skills their warriors maintain. The artisan who sold it to me said it is balanced for a tall male of their kind, so it would be perfect for someone your size. The markings on the ends are supposed to be charms for skill - a swift hand, a sharp eye, a strong arm."
I twirled it carefully and felt what he meant by balance. It was light but strong, and just large enough in the shaft for my small girl hands to get comfortably around. "It's nice," I complimented, extremely impressed, "but...what made you think of getting this for me?"
A faint smile lit Qui-Gon's gray eyes. "When I spoke to you to arrange this trip, you mentioned that Master Kinse thought you would be a natural at learning stick-fighting."
That was enough to make me sigh in awe and grin like an idiot. "Yeah, he did...wow! Thank you, Master!" I set the fighting stick aside and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him as tight as I could.
"This is from me," Obi-Wan pressed when I let go of Qui-Gon and turned to him, turning the frame so I could see the picture inside it.
It was a painting the likes of which I had never seen before. The subject matter was nothing entirely special - a river spilling over small rocky falls in the rainforest - and the skill of the painter hardly better than my own, but the picture glimmered with a light all its own. The water seemed to be moving, rainbows danced in the spray above the falls, and the spots of sunlight on the leaves seemed to truly glow as though a real forest had been captured within the confines of the frame. "Oh, Obi-Wan," I heard myself breathe.
The Padawan held it out, and I took it gingerly, as though it would disappear if I looked away from it. "Isn't it beautiful? I asked the artist how they make it look as though it's moving, but all he would tell me was that it had something to do with prismatic crystals in the paint."
"It's incredible," I whispered. "Thank you."
He lowered his voice charmingly. "Your room at the Jedi Temple has no windows, so I thought this would be the next best thing. You can at least imagine you're looking out a window at a river."
I gasped yet again. "Obi-Wan! That's so nice of you!" He also received a crushing hug for his thoughtfulness, and chuckled as I nearly tackled him to the floor. "Both of you, thank you!" I exclaimed upon releasing the Padawan. "This is so nice of you, you didn't have to do it. I couldn't have asked for anything better."
The two of them smiled at each other in triumph. "I'm glad you like it," Qui-Gon said. "We did our best with a few moments of free time in the market this afternoon."
"It's awesome," I assured. "It's a very happy birthday indeed!"
"Good. Unfortunately, we still have work of a kind to do," the Master went on. "Some of the officials here in Ba'nom would like to see us, so I asked if they would visit us here this evening. It would save us having to search them all out, and as we're going to another settlement tomorrow, I preferred to get this out of the way quickly."
"Oh? Where are we going?" I wondered.
"A remote outpost called Dindee," he answered over his shoulder as he started into the hallway that would take him through the house to the front room. "You can leave most of your things here, but take the lightest clothing you have, as they are somewhat more poorly provisioned and have no cooling units for us to use."
"Bleah," I muttered, though he was gone by now and didn't hear it. Obi-Wan smiled at me and left to accompany his Master in setting up for a visit from the Be'a'lai leaders. I was still tilting the painting so that it caught the light and dazzled me, but after a few moments admiring it, I tore myself away, picked up my new fighting stick, and carried both gifts to my room. They would be safe there, and I decided to leave them here in Ba'nom while we were away in Dindee. There was no more chance to savor them, though, as we hurried through a simple dinner and spent the rest of the night entertaining the chieftain himself and several of his trusted advisors and leaders. I got to sit in and listen, but it was very boring and I had to try my hardest not to show what I thought in front of the Be'a'lai. They were a people easy to affront if you weren't careful, especially since a slight mispronunciation of their name - slurring the stops so it came out "bealai" - meant something rather rude in their language. It was better for me to keep my mouth shut and listen, feigning interest, while Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan did their best to absorb concerns and dole out advice when asked for it, as Jedi overseers were expected to do.
Listening to the leaders speak gave me a good impression of what Qui-Gon had meant when he called them an ethnocentric people; they never openly spoke an insult against any of the other races sharing the planet, but it was clear from the tones they used and comments in passing that they thought themselves better than the Nego, Pfand, and Hodran. The only critical comment of serious worth they made was to show clear disapproval for the way the Pfandi Executor was running the government. The Be'a'lai had more than enough representation on the Common Council, though, to ensure that the Executor would keep their interests in mind. Qui-Gon listened to their complaints with the practiced air of a diplomat, nodding slowly and rarely interjecting a question to steer the conversation. Mostly, though, the chieftain and his men were just there to rant, since their problems were easily solvable by themselves. Yet, there was one awkward moment. Talk had turned to our trip to Dindee, which the chieftain highly approved of. "It has been many long months since our overseers visited Dindee," he remarked. "Not for almost a complete solar cycle."
"That is the nature of the overseers' task," Qui-Gon patiently reminded him. "The Jedi are here as observers and as a deterrent presence more than anything."
I looked over at him and decided to pay closer attention, hearing that. So all the reports and stuff aren't necessary?
"This much I know, Master Jinn," the chieftain assured him. "It is hardly a complaint. I was merely expressing my happiness that you are among the wisest of Jedi, who choose their course based on the reports of their colleagues and not those of the Daramindi themselves. You seek to show balance among the Four Races."
Qui-Gon's eyebrow quirked upward ever-so-slightly. "Have you had any problems with any teams of Jedi?" he cautiously asked.
"The Jedi?" the chieftain laughed, and several of his fellows chuckled along. "Oh no, no, the Jedi are not the problem. My people have always welcomed the Jedi, as we owe them a great and lasting debt for rescuing the Be'a'lai from extinction."
Qui-Gon nodded humbly, but Obi-Wan noted, "It was the Be'a'lai who chose to join the Homeworld Alliance."
"But it was the Jedi who listened when the Be'a'lai asked for a home like the one they had to leave," another man explained. "The Pfand wanted a nasty, cold planet. The Jedi have been good to the Be'a'lai, they honor us."
"And the Be'a'lai honor their allies and the Jedi by adhering to the terms of the treaty," Obi-Wan continued, offering a pale smile. "No violations have been made by them since Daramin was first colonized."
"We honor the word given," the chieftain said solemnly, putting a slight but definite emphasis on we. "All the same, the Jedi are welcome to look through Ba'nom or Dindee or any of our hundreds of villages. They will find no violations, not for lack of trying, and I throw my doors open in welcome. It is a guilty beh who feigns offense at the overseer's need to do his duty."
There was a brief pause, weighted with suspicion. I noticed Qui-Gon's eyes narrow very slightly, and a touch of my mind to his revealed the source of the suspicion - he wasn't sure what to make of the chieftain's comments. But just then, one of the others blithely changed the subject. "The accommodations in Dindee may be less than you have come to expect of us," he chuckled. "It is rather cold in here, I don't know how you humans can stand the climate where you come from."
The officials talked well into the twilight hours, and finally took their leave after I had already been yawning for a good while. I had no energy to leave my chair while Qui-Gon saw them out, playing along with their joke to "report if you find anything wrong in Dindee." They were being a lot more cheery about it than they had before, almost as if they were sharing an inside joke at the Master's expense. He took it in stride, though, and didn't seem too perturbed as he closed and locked the door behind him. "What was that all about?" I wondered.
"Nothing," he answered with a shake of his head, his glance falling on his apprentice. "Obi-Wan, make sure all the entrances are covered -"
"Just like last night. Yes, Master," Obi-Wan interrupted, getting up and vanishing into the hallway.
I looked up at him from my very comfortable seat. "Bedtime already?"
"Not...entirely." Qui-Gon crossed the room and took a seat in the chair to my left, settling down in a manner that was anything but relaxed. "Tell me, honestly now, have we made your birthday special enough?"
I smiled warmly. "Just being here with you two is special enough. But yes, it was very special. Thank you for the presents and everything."
He returned the smile, his gray eyes soft and enchanting. "You gave us a good understanding of your traditions. Would you be interested in learning the traditions of the Jedi?"
I sat up. "Well...yes! I would love to know what Jedi do on their birthdays. Obi-Wan said something about meditating..."
"Yes, there is some meditation involved," Qui-Gon admitted, lowering his eyes and nodding casually. "However, it's something the celebrant does on his or her own, alone, to reflect on the past year of their life. Friends of the Jedi," he went on, more brightly, "take this time to share with him or her how they have been affected by that person over the past year, and what changes they have seen in the Jedi's life. To help in the reflection, if you will."
I immediately saw where this was going and noticed the warmth already stealing into my face. "Really?" I asked rhetorically.
"For most Jedi, it is a very important part of the year's passage," Qui-Gon explained seriously. "Masters and Padawans strengthen their bond by sharing this on their birthdays. And, it is one of few times we permit ourselves a little open sentimentality toward each other," he added with one of his familiar eye-twinkling smiles. "Would you allow me to share this tradition with you?"
Despite the inevitable embarrassment it would cause me, I nodded.
Master Qui-Gon shifted forward in his chair so he could face me, and reached over to take my nearest hand between his. "My dear Stacey," he began, and my face went scarlet, "I haven't known you a year, only a few months. Yet, in that short time, you have saved my life, come to my rescue, and opened my eyes to so much. My life is infinitely richer for having known you, your presence is a gift to me which I shall treasure until my dying day." I gulped at that, fighting down any reaction other than the incredible shyness and embarrassment already flooding over me. Qui-Gon lowered his eyes again, this time gazing at my small hand between his. "I knew the day you dropped into our lives that you would change them, but I couldn't anticipate how - or how much. And as I sit here today, marking your birthday, I am so thankful that you are here. You have become my friend, and..." He paused again, taking a breath. My senses were suddenly paralyzed with nervous anticipation, which blossomed into fear as the Master lifted his head and met my eyes. "...also, my heart's desire. You challenge me to find balance between emotion and tranquility, to be myself but to also be yours."
I held my breath, afraid of what more he could say. Yet again, my inner self was protesting violently at the sight and sound of all my dreams coming true, as I scolded myself for having ever dared to want what I was finally getting. This time, I wasn't sure I was being very successful at trapping my emotions behind a wall. Qui-Gon didn't seem to notice, as he was silently composing his tribute in those long pauses. He let go of my hand and placed one large hand on my cheek, cupping my face. "As for changes I've seen in you...I want to say you have become braver, stronger, and bolder," he mused, "but I feel that wouldn't be entirely true. You have always been brave and bold, but did not openly show it. You display great strength when it is required of you. I once wondered," he said, his tone implying that he was drawing near a conclusion, "what it would have been like for you to have been born here, with the chance to become a Jedi just like you dream about. But I quickly learned that you are only what you are, and could be nothing different. You would not be the same person if you were a Jedi among us, and I think I like the person I know rather than the person you might have been in another time and place."
It took a few moments to realize he was done, I was so busy trying to remember to breathe while I scrambled to rein in my emotions. They were already spilling out all over the place; I had tears in my eyes from the beautiful and kind things he said. I finally managed to choke out, "Thank you, Master."
The thumb on my cheek caressed gently. "How many times have I told you," he said very softly, "you don't need to call me Master. I am just Qui-Gon."
I tore my eyes away from his and nodded sheepishly. A million things were pounding through my head, not the least of which was a sort of anticipation that bordered on dread. While I didn't know for sure, I had a strong assumption that this moment was heading toward a certain conclusion, and I suddenly didn't want it to. I forced myself to get a grip and reached up to take Qui-Gon's hand from my face, cradling it in my hands instead and giving it an affectionate squeeze as I looked up and focused on his gray eyes - only his eyes. "Thank you," I whispered. "That was...that was so sweet. I've never had anyone tell me anything like that before."
The Master returned the squeeze, his eyes kind and warm. "You are quite welcome. Of course, I was merely being honest." A little chuckle whiffed across his lips. "And perhaps overly sentimental."
I only grinned shyly and held his hand a while longer, not sure what to say and finding no voice to say it anyway. At last, keeping my eyes averted from his face, I murmured, "It's late, I should get ready for bed."
Qui-Gon withdrew and leaned back in the chair. "Yes, of course. Sleep well - it's going to be hot tomorrow." I started to get up, but then he added, the mirth gone from his voice, "Are you all right?"
"Fine," I blithely lied, putting on my most non-committal face. "Really. Thank you - again. I like that tradition. You and Obi-Wan have to let me know when your birthdays are so I can return the favor."
The Master nodded in agreement. "As long as you're sure you're all right. I don't want to upset you."
"No, you didn't," I tried to assure, even though that was also a lie. "It's just...well, like you say. I ought to think about what you said, reflect on it. Like a Jedi." I gave him a little smile and hightailed it out the nearest doorway.
I barely said good night to Obi-Wan as I rushed past him, terrified to let him have a say in my birthday reflection as well. The words of the Master were quite enough as it was. I closed myself inside my room and threw myself on the bed, clutching my hands to my face as I tried to absorb the rush of emotions still swirling crazily through my head and chest. Taking a few deep breaths, I closed my eyes and begged the Force to help me, which it did. The great universal power covered me with a blanket that drained the spikes of emotion of their sharpness and potency, until I was calm at last and breathing normally. It was clear to me now that something was wrong. Despite spending long days in the Jedi Temple missing Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, longing to be with them again, and making small gestures of interest in them in the fleeting moments we were together, now that I had what I wanted I rejected it all. Something didn't feel right - it wasn't right for Qui-Gon to be dribbling words of sentiment like a character from a romantic comedy, to be looking at me like that...touching me like that. My heart's desire... But what could I do? Deep down I still wanted everything he was offering - I wanted the thing he would have done this night if I had let him. But I was starting to feel like I was wrong to want it, wrong to seek it. I had changed Qui-Gon Jinn, he said so. I could no longer justify that change to myself. A dull ache was growing in my chest, as if my heart were being strangled in a fist. Frustrated and scared, I rolled over and clutched the tiny pillow to me, fighting down tears as I lay awake, thinking, for hours.
I didn't hear Obi-Wan push my door open, I didn't notice his voice speak my name in a question, then in a shout. I only stirred when a body struck the bed and jostled me awake. I opened my eyes to find the young Padawan's face hovering just over mine, his blue eyes shining curiously in the morning sunlight. "Good morning," he finally said with a little chuckle, which evaporated as I glared at him. "Are you all right?"
"Didn't sleep well," I grumbled at him.
He kindly got up and retreated a few steps. I noticed he was already dressed, in the sleeveless tunic and dangling sash again. "I'm supposed to make sure you're ready to go. Our transport will be here shortly. You are packed, aren't you?"
"Yeah," I groaned as I pushed myself off the flat sleep couch. "Go on, get out of here so I can change. I'll be out in a sec."
In a very short period of time I had completely forgotten all about the unsettling night before, as I tossed my bag into the back seat of a gray landspeeder. It had been loaned to the Jedi teams for their use, and Obi-Wan was going to pilot it to Dindee. I had too many visions of Luke and the droids on Tatooine in my head to be worried about anything else anymore. Qui-Gon was in a very pleasant mood and made no show of doing anything to upset me, so I let my bizarre change in mood slide and, after some breakfast, was bouncing around beside the landspeeder teasing Obi-Wan about how fast the vehicle could go. "You know," I noticed as Qui-Gon finally came out of the house and climbed into the passenger seat, "every time we go somewhere you let Obi-Wan drive. How come I never see you pilot anything?"
Qui-Gon glanced over his shoulder at me as I climbed over the side of the speeder and plunked energetically down in the back seat. "I have been piloting various craft for more years than either of you have been alive," he said, "it ceases to be necessary after a time. I did drive the swoop bike, if you remember."
"He just doesn't like to drive," the apprentice snorted, giving his Master a quick sidelong glance as he started up the landspeeder. I stifled a thrilled squeal.
"Why should I, when I have an apprentice who's a better pilot than I am?" the Master shot back.
I looked from him to Obi-Wan with a short laugh. "Well, at least he admits it, Padawan."
Obi-Wan just smiled slyly and gunned the accelerator, and we were off. He wisely took it slow through the streets of Ba'nom, but once we passed the outskirts and had only an open, somewhat overgrown path to show the way northeast to Dindee, Obi-Wan punched it and we were humming along at around a hundred miles an hour. I tilted my head back and squinted into the sunshine, beaming happily. My hair snarled wildly in the wind, but I didn't care - I was enjoying not only a ride in a convertible on a hot, sunny morning, but the experience of a true Star Wars landspeeder. Thank heaven for the simple things in life.
Dindee was a small and rather shabby village on the side of a long ridge that rose out of the jungle and farmland, no more than a collection of square houses surrounded by patches of plowed field. A small, still pond lay at the foot of the ridge, looking as if every bit of rain that fell ran downhill and ended up there. As we approached it, Qui-Gon mentioned that there was also a mine located in the village. "A crystal mine. Though all reports indicate it's doing well and not harming the local water supply, we're going to have a look at it nonetheless."
"As a good overseer should," I noted. He glanced over his shoulder and nodded.
The arrival of a landspeeder caused a considerable stir among the inhabitants of the village, at least those out working the fields or occupying their porches in the midday sun. Children popped up out of nowhere to watch us disembark, and I kept hearing "Jedi" lilting off their tongues. Leaving the speeder at the edge of the houses, we walked toward the stone well in the center of the village and were met by a relatively tall Be'a'lai male wearing a very smart-looking feathered belt around his waist. A small blaster dangled in a holster that he wore on a leather baldric slung over one shoulder. "Welcome, Jedi!" he smiled, tapping his fist to his chest. Both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan returned the gesture. "My name is Teda, I received your notice that you would be visiting us."
Qui-Gon introduced us quickly, and then said, "I hope I gave you enough notice that we were coming."
"More than enough," Teda grinned, his teeth gleaming brightly in his dark face. "When the transmission came last night, the whole village had to hear it immediately. Dindee often gets overlooked by the overseers, and we understand that, but..."
A very amused and friendly smile was on Qui-Gon's lips. "Never have I seen a people so excited to have an overseer come to make sure they were obeying the law."
Teda's grin grew even wider, if that were possible. "You have not even begun to see their excitement, Master Jedi. It was all I could do to dissuade them from throwing a feast."
The man beckoned us to walk with him, so we did, Qui-Gon beside him and me and Obi-Wan trailing just behind, still in earshot. "You need not trouble yourselves on our account," the Master insisted. "We are simply here to inquire into the status of the mine, and make sure your people are doing well."
"Of course. Unfortunately, you may find your work to be dull. There is very little to see, here."
"You will not be offended if I prefer to find that out myself." Qui-Gon lifted an eyebrow as he glanced down at the diminutive Be'a'lai beside him.
Teda laughed. "By all means. It is your duty."
He led us to a house that didn't look much different from all the others, square with huge, screened windows and a small front porch, except that this one looked to have been deserted for some time. The plants out front were staging a small coup against the steps, the whitewash on the bricks was fading, and the roof appeared rather worn in patches. "We have always kept quarters for the Jedi, as they have asked us to," Teda explained as he climbed up the steps, and sindi beetles scattered from the bushes, "but forgive us if it has been so long since the last team visited that we have neglected them. It only looks neglected on the outside," he added with a hopeful look at the Master.
"As long as it keeps out the sun, rain, and sindi beetles, it will do just fine," Qui-Gon assured.
"We have everything you could need," Teda went on as he opened the door and led us around. "Provisions were stocked this morning by the housewomen. The rooms do have sleep couches as humans prefer, but if you decide you wish to try sleeping outside the Be'a'lai way, the slings are kept here." He gestured into a closet, where several webbed somethings were stored on a shelf: hammocks. "My father's father constructed this place, actually," the male boasted, "and he certainly knew how to hoist a good, relaxing sling. The rings are placed along the inner porch so as to make the most of any breeze."
Breeze? It had been a couple days since I last felt an actual breeze, not counting the self-made wind of our landspeeder. Inside the house it was just as hot and moist as outside. I tried not to make a face in disbelief of Teda's claim, but Master Qui-Gon politely thanked him. "That was very kind of your people to think of us. Anything to help us endure the climate we are not used to is greatly appreciated."
"Then, I will show you as many ways of staying cool as I can think of," Teda offered.
Obi-Wan accompanied our guide as he showed off the rest of the house, including, I assumed, the stocked kitchen. I could have really used a tall glass of something cold right then, but I was more interested in finding a place to deposit my belongings. I had only brought sleep clothes and my journal, which fit into a small pack, leaving everything else behind in Ba'nom. Just as I claimed a room with a wall on the outside of the house, whose window faced the uphill climb behind us, Teda wandered by and let both me and Obi-Wan know that there was also a limited supply of less restrictive clothing, which he hoped would fit us as their tailors had to guess how big to make human-sized garments. "Saw a Master faint in the heat, once," he claimed. "Didn't know to take off the layers. Poor Coruscanti beh, should have known better."
I heard Qui-Gon somewhere down the hall. "When was this?"
Teda's voice diminished as he wandered toward the asker. "Oh, few years ago..."
"How nice of them to take care of us like that," I remarked to Obi-Wan, who still stood in the doorway.
"It would be nicer if they could install a cooling unit," he muttered under his breath. After a moment, he shook his head. "They do what they can. I'll not complain."
The wise Jedi may not have had the heart to complain about the heat, but I sure did. It was one of those oppressive, burdensome days where the very breath in my lungs seared like an oven, and the moist air weighed enough to bow tree branches. The Be'a'lai I watched from my window were laboring hard in the farm fields, hardly breaking a sweat and singing raucously to pass the time. I remembered what Master Plo Koon had taught me before I even left Coruscant, about where the Be'a'lai had come from. Their world - Be - was the closest planet to their sun. The star had begun to go red giant many millions of years ago, so the people adapted to survive and thrive in the excessive warmth. But, as the star swelled in size, the climate was overwhelmed until the heat on Be was becoming too much for even the Be'a'lai. Master Plo had said that at the time, they were experiencing severe droughts, massive crop losses, and worldwide ecological disaster due to the gradual warming of the planet. If the Be'a'lai had not joined the Homeworld Alliance and escaped, they would have been wiped out. The planet was now uninhabitable, and it would ultimately be engulfed by the star. As I watched them toil in the fields under the equatorial sun, I knew the Be'a'lai had found a place to their liking, a place fitting their metabolism and physiology.
The Jedi set to work right away, taking a walk around the village to see how it was set up and meet a few of the people. I spotted them from my window, walking along the fields and completely disrupting the hard workers who all ran to meet them. I figured they were saving the mine for tomorrow. It was back on the other side of the ridge anyway, away from the pond and the water table which gave the village life. I had been invited to go with them, but it was too hot to move. Instead, I picked through the volunteered clothing supply for something even lighter and cooler than the sleeveless top and flaxen trousers I had, and found a quiet place to lounge.
When they finally made it back late in the afternoon, I noticed that my companions were not having as good a time as they feigned. Qui-Gon had the length of his dark hair bunched back in a fist to keep it off his neck as he took the porch steps in one stride, and he was breathing rather heavily. Obi-Wan's tunic was nearly transparent where it stuck to his chest with sweat, and his braid hung limp beside his ear as if someone had drenched it. Without even asking them if they wanted it, I brought them full glasses of a chilled fruit concoction I had found in the kitchen. Both of them immediately took a glass and drank deeply before even saying a word in greeting. "Remind me," the Master panted as he drew a breath, "to bring a flask of water with us tomorrow."
"Yes Master," Obi-Wan said, equally breathless. He seemed to suddenly notice me, for he grinned. "Thank you. You seem to have read our minds."
He ruffled my hair playfully, so I slugged him in the shoulder as he passed. "You're welcome. I wouldn't suggest drinking the water straight, though - it has kind of a funny metallic taste."
"Does it?" Qui-Gon paused and looked straight at me as if filing away that information for future use. After a moment, he shook his head and offered a tired smile. "And what did you do while we were busy?"
"This and that. Poked around. I found this." I tugged at the lightweight sarong I had tied around my waist. "I don't normally like skirts, but this is a lot cooler than pants. Don't know if there's anything in there that'll fit you, though - it's all kind of small."
"I will make do with what I have," Qui-Gon assured, stepping past me into the hallway. "Now, where did you get this?" He held up his empty glass. I followed him to the kitchen to make sure he got more.
*****
I lay awake on a coverless sleep couch, glaring at the black ceiling. Not only was it too hot to move, it was too hot to sleep. I had hoped that night would bring a nice, cool breeze down the hill and straight into my bedroom, but no such luck. The weather had hardly changed from the daylight hours; the temperature supposedly had dropped about fifteen degrees since noon, but I couldn't feel a difference. After a light supper and an evening of listening closely to the speculative talk between Master and Padawan, who seemed to want to discuss anything but Dindee, I opted to retire while twilight was still in the sky. That was hours ago, and I was still awake. I even dared to leave my bedroom door open for circulation, but it didn't help. Frustrated, I jabbed at the Force to tell me where the Jedi were and what state they were in. Impressions of Obi-Wan came to me faintly, I couldn't tell if he was awake or not. Qui-Gon, wherever he was, was definitely asleep. Lucky, I growled in my thoughts. I had heard them getting ready for bed a couple hours ago - the rustle of clothing, the pad of feet back and forth in the hallway, some thunking and rummaging in the closet where Teda had shown us the hammocks and the spare clothing. I kept my eyes closed and an arm over my head, not wanting them to know I wasn't asleep yet, as my mind automatically worked to conclude which sounds corresponded to what. Now, though, it was dead silent in the house, and my frustration was at a fever pitch. Sighing roughly, I flung aside my arm and swung my feet off the sleep couch, intending to see if there was anything that could be done to get me to sleep, at the very least desiring a cold drink.
I made my way stealthily into the kitchen, filled a glass, and drained it immediately. There was nothing else in there to help me, though, so I headed back toward our bedrooms, taking the long way. In these square Be'a'lai houses with their central courtyards, one long hallway ran all the way around the inside, connecting everything. As I walked I could glance out the large windows one way to see the village of Dindee, quiet and deserted at these hours, or out the other way to the courtyard. I thought I saw something odd in the latter, something that wasn't there in the afternoon when I had checked it out. I had wanted to see what Teda meant about the rings mounted to hold the hammocks, or "slings," and found the courtyard as overgrown as the front. Sindi beetles were creeping through the grass, so I quickly went back inside. Now, however, I thought I saw something in the shadows of the porch that wasn't there before, and decided to slip around to the adjacent side of the house to find out what it was.
No breeze came through the doorway to cool me, the night outside was as still and stifling as it was inside. I leaned on the door frame and discovered that Qui-Gon had opted for sleeping outside, his long, lean body spilling out the end of the webbed hammock strung between support posts. That was the "Be'a'lai way" Teda had spoken of. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the starlight, but when they did, they involuntarily widened in surprise. I could finally see that not only was Qui-Gon fast asleep in the comfortable cradle, he was nearly naked. The pale skin of his chest, stomach, and long legs faintly glimmered in the wan starlight, one bare arm draped up over his head, the other lying at his side. All he wore was the simple loinwrap that I had somehow come to know most male human Jedi preferred to wear in the field for support, and that didn't leave much to the imagination anyway. I stood rooted to the spot, just staring, sweeping my gaze up and down the Master's body sprawled in the hammock, envious that he had been able to fall asleep in this weather and impressed at the sight of his body completely revealed to me.
Being in the sour mood that I was as a result of the oppressive humidity, I sighed in annoyance and decided to leave him sleep, since the only thing I could do upon waking him was grumble about how I wasn't able to sleep, and I didn't think he'd much appreciate that. But I stood there a while longer, gazing at him, my mind churning with reminders of the things he had said to me, things which made me excited but uncomfortable then. My heart's desire... I was not uncomfortable now. Seeing him laid out, stretched to his full length, relaxed, and with so little of his skin covered by clothing for once, only drove the response within me to higher volume. I had never really seen Master Qui-Gon as a sexual creature before, his protection and caring was all I wanted, his tenderness and devotion. But in that moment, in the heated darkness over Daramin's equator, I wanted him. I wanted all of him, and had I not been such a coward, I might have done something about it.
Sighing again to myself, I finally wrenched myself away from the delightful vision asleep on the courtyard porch and wandered through the dark sitting room, beyond annoyed. I got no further than across the room when I heard a shuffle of bare feet, and Obi-Wan appeared in the dark doorway to the hall. Neither of us were remotely surprised to see the other. "What's the matter?" he quietly asked me. "Can't sleep either?"
I shook my head and grumbled, "No. It's too hot." I paused immediately in front of him and looked up, blinking in the darkness so that my eyes would adjust again and I could see his face. He looked as weary as I felt, I suspected he was also uncomfortable and awake because of it. "I just want to sleep," I groaned under my breath. "Isn't there anything we can do? A fan? Maybe?"
A light smirk crossed his lips, and he moved past me into the room. It was then I noticed that he was more clothed than his Master, though the billowing pants that fell to calf-length on him were not his Jedi trousers. Something borrowed from the Be'a'lai stash, perhaps. They were thin and sheer, and as he crossed in front of the windows, I could almost see through them. Unlike his Master, he did not have a loinwrap on.
Obi-Wan poked around the table near the windows, and came back with something in the palm of his hand. "Teda told me they often use this to cool themselves. It's a sort of lotion, I think, or an astringent, to be rubbed on the skin. I haven't tried it yet, but we may as well, there's nothing else here that can help us."
I peered over his fingers at the metal jar and scrunched up my nose at it. "What's it like?"
The Padawan unscrewed the top of the jar and cautiously sniffed at the contents. "It doesn't smell bad," he quietly noted, holding it out for me. I couldn't see, in the dark, what was inside, but a light whiff of some clean, juicy scent drifted on the air. A vision of a melon or aloe plant came to mind. Obi-Wan looked at it again as he stood facing me, just a foot apart from me, and then lifted his eyes to mine. "Which of us should be the test subject, to see if it works?"
"I'll do it," I volunteered. We were both speaking very quietly in the midnight depths, but I deliberately lowered my voice even more. "It can't make me feel any worse than I already do."
"All right. Sit here, I'll rub some on your back." Obi-Wan pulled a tall stool away from the wall and patted the seat. I reluctantly climbed onto it and settled down as he stepped around behind me. "There is one thing, though..." he added.
"What?" I grumbled.
A short sigh whispered from him, and his voice came on its heels just as softly. "Like an astringent, it opens your pores. Your skin has to be uncovered for it to work."
I thought about it, lowering my head and giving him an obnoxious snort. "So this is just some clever ploy to get my shirt off."
"Stacey." Obi-Wan was at his most exasperated. I immediately regretted making the accusation. "If you don't want to, fine, I just won't be able to rub any into your back."
My body immediately scolded me for my retort - it wanted to be cool, and no amount of hesitation from my brain was going to get in the way. "Fine," I sighed, glancing over my shoulder, "but...turn your back for a second."
Without a moment's pause he did, calmly standing with his back to me. I slipped the sleeveless shirt over my head and used it to strategically cover my chest, folding my arms over it. I made a noise to let Obi-Wan know I was ready, and settled down again to wait. He gently bound my long hair up in a fist to hold it out of the way. After a quiet second or two, his fingertips spread something cold over my back, and my muscles instantly relaxed. Whatever the stuff was, it lived up to the promise - as it was worked into my skin like lotion, it brought a lasting coolness that lingered well after the hands that delivered it had moved on. Obi-Wan spread it across my whole back and shoulders, the nape of my neck, and then down the upper parts of my arms - the only parts I allowed him access to - and down my legs below the shorts I wore to sleep. I silently forgave him for being so forward and took back my snotty remark, the cooling, drying feeling was so welcome and perfect. He likewise forgave me for my outburst, or so I figured when he straightened up and dabbed one lotion-covered finger on the tip of my nose. The substance tingled and chilled immediately where it was placed. Blue eyes sparkled even in the faint light from outside. "Does it work?"
"Yeah, works great," I murmured. "Your turn."
Obi-Wan took the seat I vacated, and I turned my back to him as I slipped my shirt back over my head. Sure enough, once covered, I couldn't feel the cooling effects on my back - it must react with the air, I surmised. But enough of it was still chilling my shoulders, neck, and arms to make up for the loss of the middle of my back. Taking the jar from the young apprentice, I dabbed my fingers in a moist, creamy substance and began to spread it over Obi-Wan's bare, muscular back. He let out a long breath in relief, and slumped in his seat while I smoothed the coolant over every inch of exposed skin on his back and neck, which until I started had been coated in a light sheen of sweat. He was no longer sweating at all. While I reached the unreachable parts, Obi-Wan used whatever film was left on his hands to smooth into his chest and stomach, and I envied him for being able to go around shirtless and enjoy the coolant's full effects. I treated him to an extra dose by rubbing it into the soles of his feet, making him gasp in delight. "That feels wonderful," he whispered. "That will keep me cool the rest of the night."
"Really?" I figured he had had enough, and rubbed some on my own feet. The coolant stole into my skin and made me feel like I was walking on ice. "Oooo...that is nice." I screwed the cap back on and handed the jar to Obi-Wan as he slid off the stool. "Good job, Padawan."
"It helps to listen to the natives," he smirked, putting the jar back where he had found it. When he came back, he placed his hands on my shoulders to guide me back towards our sleeping rooms. His palms, slicked with the cooling substance, felt like a cold wind on my coated shoulders, and I shivered in spite of myself. Glancing at him, I met gleaming eyes which caught the faint light from outside. We had stepped into the hallway, into deeper darkness, but the silhouette of his broad shoulders and ruffled hair was more than visible yet. My nerves tingled under the power of the air-sparked coolant, my mind leaping back and forth between visions of the Master asleep on the porch and his Padawan standing behind me with an aloof smirk on his lips. I could feel my inhibitions slipping away even more, desire blossoming much as it had when it awoke at the sight in the courtyard, only this time for Obi-Wan. Images were flitting to mind, and even as I calmly walked ahead of the young man toward our bedrooms, I was thinking of making at least one of them come true. If only I could just turn around...maybe push him up against the wall...
I felt the hand on my shoulder become firm, and it steered me into my room. "You should be able to sleep, now," Obi-Wan said in a low voice edged with authority. "Good night, Stacey."
"Obi -" But he closed the door on me, leaving me alone in my room. All my chances, gone, like that. I flopped back onto the sleep couch and closed my eyes, reveling in the icy feeling all over my exposed skin and the images still swirling in my mind. Oh, they were nice images. First Master, then Padawan. Back and forth between the two, I let myself dwell on the outrageous thoughts, and very shortly after fell asleep. However, the images did not leave me; in fact, they grew stronger, flying unfettered through my REM sleep and creating the most vivid, shocking dreams I've ever had. Very seldom in my life had I experienced dreams of this nature, charged with sensuality and visions of acts I'd never done for real. It was as if my subconscious had been storing up the unspent tension and was unloading it all on me in one night. Not once did I wake up, but the dreams stayed with me all night, and were still there when enough morning light bled through the shade to wake me. I couldn't forget a single one, and even as I sat up and rubbed my eyes, I was blushing from the sheer memory. How in the world was I going to face Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan with these dream images still firmly in my head?
The cooling effect of the astringent had worn off during the night, and I was warm and sweaty all over again. I half entertained the idea of finding that jar again and treating myself to a bit of lotion to keep me going through the day, but as I blundered into the kitchen, the idea flew completely from my mind. Both Jedi were there, in the late stages of breakfast, and both not quite dressed yet. At least both had trousers on, but even they seemed reluctant to cover their skin much more than that until it was absolutely necessary. A fresh bout of memories crashed into my mind and necessitated a few deep breaths and some immediate control exercises. Slumping into a chair, I reached for the cold juice before anything else and kept my eyes lowered so as not to catch sight of bare, muscled chests - or make eye contact. "Good morning," Qui-Gon said to me, as cheerfully as he could. "Did you sleep well?"
I nearly said "no," but after what had happened, I had to honestly reply, "Sort of. Once I got to sleep it was okay, but falling asleep was nearly impossible."
"We both had trouble falling asleep," Obi-Wan said. "The heat seemed to be too much. We tried a Be'a'lai remedy, but I'm not sure how much it helped."
Personally, I thought it helped a lot, but Obi-Wan's demeanor toward his Master was thoughtful, as if he were seeking answers to questions not yet asked. I kept quiet until I could see where he was going with his story. Qui-Gon's eyebrows lifted in a curious expression. "Oh?"
"Teda told me of a lotion meant to cool the body." Obi-Wan reached beneath the table and, surprisingly, brought forth the little metal jar from a pocket, which he handed over to Qui-Gon without hesitation.
The Master uncapped the lid and sniffed the contents, much as we had the night before, and a smirk awoke in his eyes that he tried very hard to stifle. "How much of this did you use?"
Obi-Wan looked at me, and I could see that his brow was knit in a manner suggesting he was uncomfortable with the subject. "I rubbed some on Stacey's back, arms, and legs, and she did the same for me."
"And the feet," I added. "Felt great, I wasn't so hot after that."
"I assume that's not all you felt." Qui-Gon capped the jar and set it on the table right beside him, out of anyone's reach but his. He faced us across the table with an intelligent, patient, teacherly look, though deep down I could sense a ripple of amusement. "I know what this substance is. Teda may have told you the Be'a'lai use it to cool themselves, but it is not a Be'a'lai invention. It actually comes from Cerea, and its primary use is as an aphrodisiac."
I choked on the sip of juice in my mouth. Obi-Wan tried to disguise the embarrassment in his voice as he wondered, "Really, Master?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said gently. "Though, Cerea being the world it is, just about everything there is claimed to be an aphrodisiac whether it really is or not. But, this..." He glanced down at the jar, and his face suddenly drew tight with concern. A whiff of something not entirely unlike heartbreak leeched from him in the Force before he could rein it in and hide it. When he spoke again, his voice was thick. "You two didn't do anything...?"
"No, Master," the Padawan urgently replied. "I sensed right away that my mind was slipping into an altered state, and shook myself out of it. I figured Stacey couldn't sense any problem, though, and..." His eyes darted to me and he swallowed hard. "...I locked her in her room before either of us could do something foolish. I went to my own room and meditated until I could gain control of my mind again and then went to sleep."
The pain and concern on Qui-Gon's rugged face eased considerably, but the seriousness lingered as he stared at the jar. "That is good. Very good, Padawan. But, I think that should be the end of any local folk cures for the heat."
I stared at Obi-Wan. "You locked me in my room?"
"I'm sorry," he quickly said. "I couldn't be sure whether you noticed that you were in an altered state."
I wasn't really angry with him, it was just shocking, so I relaxed my face and mind to make sure he knew that. "Altered state?" I repeated. "What, like...hallucinating?"
"Something like that," Qui-Gon answered me. "Not in a seriously impaired way, such as if you were drunk, but if your skin absorbed very much of the chemicals in this, you certainly could not have been said to be acting under your own power."
The explanation stunned me. I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed: the dreams I had were a result of the substance, not a defect in my own mind. Of course, that explained my sudden rush of desire for Obi-Wan before he managed to get me into my room alone. But, a voice deep inside reminded me, your feelings at the sight of Qui-Gon came up well before you ever got near that stuff. I flicked a glance at him and clenched my jaw tightly when a vision of the hammock full of Master came to me. He must have felt my eyes on him, for he glanced my way. "Don't worry," I stammered, "I won't go near that stuff again. I don't care how well it works to cool me down." I had to yank my eyes off the beads of sweat collecting in the hollow of Qui-Gon's throat.
He was still looking at me. "Are you all right?"
I nodded in reply, as I raised my glass and drank instead of letting myself blurt out anything stupid.
The gray eyes narrowed. "You're holding something back."
The memories hadn't gone anywhere, they were just haunting the back parts of my mind that I had been able to lock away from direct intrusion. Several of them tickled me and I couldn't help but blush. "It's nothing, no. Just...must have been the hallucinations or something."
Qui-Gon left his eyes on me for a moment longer before dropping the subject and turning instead to Obi-Wan to discuss his ideas for the day. I sat back in my chair, grabbing a piece of fruit and chomping furiously into it. I don't think I'm ever going to look at these two the same again. Someone better wash out my brain with soap!